10 years ago, I married my best friend

Ten years ago today I married my best friend.

When we got married, we had already been dating for almost six years – living together for almost three. So I think that many people figured it was about time we got around to getting married. Which is a far cry from the people who thought we wouldn't last six months when we first got together!

I still don’t entirely know why some of our friends thought we wouldn't last when we first got together. (We’re still good friends with many of these people, so there’s no hard feelings or anything.) I guess they thought we were too different. But I didn't think so. And Ryan certainly didn't think so – he after all had had his eye on me for close to a year before I finally realized it.

Ten years ago on a cloudy Saturday afternoon, we stood before a minister in a cute little chapel downtown and promised to love, honour and cherish each other. As part of the service, three people read poems. This is the one that still stays with me today:

Sometimes in life, you find a special friend.
Someone who changes your life just by being a part of it.
Someone who makes you laugh until you can't stop.
Someone who makes you believe that there really is good in the world.
Someone who convinces you that there really is an unlocked door just waiting for you to open it.
This is forever friendship.
When you're down and the world seems dark and empty, your forever friend lifts you up in spirit and makes that dark and empty world suddenly seem bright and full.
Your forever friend gets you through the hard times, the sad times and the confused times.
If you turn and walk away, your forever friend follows.
If you lose your way, your forever friend guides you and cheers you on.
Your forever friend holds your hand and tells you that everything is going to be okay.
And if you find such a friend, you feel happy and complete because you need not worry.
You have a forever friend, and forever has no end.

Ryan, I love you more than words can say. You lift me up when I am down. You support my ambitions and respect my decisions.  You make me laugh and you love me for all my flaws and imperfections. And you’re a wonderful father to our children.

Here’s to 10 amazing years – I can’t wait to see what the next 10, and more, bring us. 

Goodbye to a very special lady

Me and my grandma

Last Friday afternoon, the world lost a very special person. My grandma died, peacefully at the age of 98. I know I am so very lucky to have had her in my life for so long, but I will miss her more than I can possibly say.

For 37 years, my grandma has been an inspiration in my life. And although the last few years have been challenging as she struggled with the effects of Alzheimer’s disease, she still showed me that life is a gift and that a smile and a kind word go a long way. She always had a smile on her face, always had compassion and understanding, and always lived life to the fullest.

There’s a story that’s been told so often in my family, that’s it’s almost legend. It’s the story of the night I was born.  I was born at 11:30 at night; and soon thereafter, my father called everyone he knew to announce the news – his brother, my mom’s parents, my mom’s brother, some friends and his mother. The only person  he couldn’t reach was his mother – my grandma. By the time he reached her to tell her of the birth of her first grandchild, it was after 1 a.m. She had been out dancing.

My grandma (with her sister) dancing at my wedding

Flash forward 27 years to my wedding day and there was my grandma at 1 a.m., and one of the last people on the dance floor. She was 88 years old and every time someone

asked her if she wanted to go up to bed, she’d always respond ‘oh no, I don’t want to miss this.’

She was so very proud of all of her grandchildren – always eager to know everything we were doing. One of her most cherished possessions were the photo albums she kept for each of us. We all had our own set of albums and, over the years, she must’ve spent hours upon hours putting our pictures in. There were pictures of us at Halloween, Christmas holidays, graduations, birthdays, summer vacations and of us, just being us. One of my most treasured memories as a child is going to grandma’s house, sitting on the floor in the tartan room and pouring over my photo albums. I wonder if part of my love of doing scrapbooks today is because of how much fun I had looking through those albums.

Another treasured memory  of mine is Christmas lunch. From the time I can remember until my late 20s, every Christmas morning was rushed through so that we could get to grandma’s house in time for (more presents and) lunch. And lunch was always the same every year – scrambled eggs, toast and cocktail wieners. And yes, my sisters, cousins and I used to compete to get the most mini hot dogs.

I’m so very lucky, because I’m one of the fortunate few who got to know my grandmother as I matured into an adult – and she got to know me as I grew from a child to an adult and into a mother of my own. In my 20s, I took several solo trips to Montreal to stay with her (and yes, I stayed in the tartan room, and yes, I spent time looking through my photo albums). We visited, we talked and we learned about each other.

Grandma holding Alexandra

It’s difficult to put into words what made my grandma so special to me – I could write thousands of words recounting memories and special moments and I still wouldn’t be able to get the right words out. Simply put, she was a very special and wonderful lady.

And so, when my daughter was born – her first great-granddaughter – we gave her the middle name Margaret in honour of my grandma. Now, at five years old, my little girl lives up to her namesake. She’s always smiling, she lives every day to the fullest and she loves to dance. Her great-grandmother would be very proud.

I’m so blessed that I got to spend 37 wonderful years with you grandma and that my children even got to know you, and you them. Goodbye Grandma. I’ll miss you more than I can possibly say.

Summer 2012

Grandma on her 90th birthday

Riding for heart

Last year was a tough year.

On February 14, Ryan's grandmother passed away after suffering from a heart attack two months earlier. She was 82. On  April 2, my great-aunt Joan passed away after suffering a massive stroke less than a week earlier. She too was 82 years old. On October 6, my dad had a heart attack. He was 65 years old and until then had been in nearly perfect health. He is (thankfully) on the road to making a full recovery.

While I'm on the topic, more than 40 years ago, my grandfather -- my father's father -- died of a massive heart attack. He was in his early 60s. And because of that, I never got the chance to meet him. 

Now that I've thoroughly depressed you with my own story, let's look at the facts. Every seven minutes someone dies from heart disease and stroke in Canada. Heart disease and stroke takes 1 in 3 Canadians before their time and is the number one killer of women. Nine out of 10 Canadians have at least one risk factor for heart disease or stroke.

On June 2, my husband Ryan will be biking 50 km up and back down the DVP in Toronto in the Ride For Heart to raise money for the Heart & Stroke Foundation. If I was a biker, I'd raise money for Heart & Stroke by doing this ride. But I'm not a biker -- so I'll stick to being the rah-rah fundraising supporter. Funds raised by this ride support research, healthy communities, healthy children and youth, and awareness and prevention. Every dollar makes a difference.

He's training hard already -- 50 km is not exactly a short, leisurely ride -- so visit his fundraising page and support his Ride for Heart. On the day of the ride, the kids and I will find a spot somewhere along the route to cheer him on. I'll try to get a picture or two. 

While I'm on the subject of heart health -- it doesn't just start with funding research to save lives (although that research certainly helped save my dad's life). It starts years and years before; by educating our children about the importance of eating well and being active. Alexandra is also getting in on the heart health campaign as her school is doing Jump Rope for Heart on May 9. Although at age 5 she won't exactly be skipping all that much, I'm glad that her and the school is taking part. Although my kids are very active and healthy, so many kids today aren't. Childhood obesity has tripled in the last 30 years, affecting the future health of our children. If you'd like to support her, call or e-mail me. 

A rainbow birthday cake

I've been not-so-subtly told that I'm a very poor blogger lately. And I guess since it's been over two weeks since my baby turned 5 and I still haven't posted about her cake, I guess that's a fairly true statement.

Anyway, without further ado, my princess Alexandra turned 5 a few weeks ago, and for her birthday this year, she requested rainbow cupcakes. The catch -- we'd booked a birthday party for her in the community room at our grocery store (where the kids got to make their own pizzas and decorate their own cupcakes for loot bags) and as part of the package, we had to order a birthday cake from their bakery. That meant no cake from mommy :(

So, for her actual mid-week birthday, I went to the effort of making her rainbow cupcakes -- a cupcake pull-apart cake in fact.

I arranged all the cupcakes side-by-side and then used blue icing (to make the sky) to ice them all together like a cake. And then it was just a matter of arranging a lot of Smarties, just right. (And then drawing in a few clouds with the extra icing!)

The surprise part of the cake was when you chose your cupcake and took a bite: 

Yup! I coloured the cake batter with the colours of the rainbow! I must say, I was pretty happy with the way it turned out -- and so was the birthday girl!

When you work by yourself, there's no one to talk to

I really enjoying working by myself -- most of the time. But sometimes I miss that camaraderie that comes with working in office. You know, the 'water cooler' chit chat.

Today, I need to vent because I'm having one of those days where nothing is going my way. So, since I don't have a water cooler to chat by, my blog is going to be my next best thing.

So this morning started out with a screaming fight with my 7-year-old over his inability to listen. He wanted to be in his sister's room. She wanted him out. He didn't wan't to get out. I yelled at him to get out and start listening. He started crying. Stupid stuff really, but not exactly a good start to the first hour of my day. Although he did hug and kiss me goodbye when he got out of the car at school so I guess all was forgiven.

After dropping Austin at school, Alex and I drove to her school to drop her off. And what does she do? Start telling me that she doesn't want to go to school today because it's too long and she misses me. I suck up the heartbreak I feel for that statement and encourage her to go on because school is fun. No sooner does the bell ring that she runs out of line bawling and clinging to me, refusing to go in. She hasn't done that since September.

When I finally detangle myself from her and get her through the doors while tears are still streaming down her face, I drive my car over to the repair shop to get it looked at. The brakes started acting funny yesterday, and I figured that's probably not a good thing. After a quick look, they tell me I need new ABS sensors and it'll take a few hours. I go home to wait. Now they call me and tell me that it turns out the part they had delivered wasn't as advertised and it doesn't fit my car. So, the right part will cost several hundred dollars more and, oh yeah, it won't be ready until tomorrow at noon. So now I have no car to drive my kids to school with tomorrow.

There. I vented. And I actually feel a bit better. But I think I need to add a little something-something to my afternoon coffee to really feel better. At least that'll make anything else that comes my way today easier to deal with!

May the force be with you

After two years of Cars birthday cakes, this year my Star Wars-obsessed son decided that he wanted a Star Wars cake to celebrate his big day.

After a little research, I found this great idea for doing a light saber cake.

First, I baked a simple, 9x13 chocolate cake and iced it blue (which was a colour that was more-or-less chosen at random). Then, I iced three Vachon chocolate swiss rolls with green icing and placed them on the cake and then I iced three more swiss rolls in red. Finally,I used a little bit of black icing to ice two more swiss rolls, and placed them on the cake as light saber handles.

And for the finishing touches, a couple of LEGO Star Wars guys.

I must admit, I was pretty happy with the way the cake turned out. But more importantly, Austin loved it. And so did his friends at the party -- for a few short minutes before it was cut up and devoured, I was the cool mom who made a cool cake. 

Reclaiming Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day has never been a big deal for us. Ryan and I have never celebrated it -- no presents or flowers; no big fancy dinners or date nights. It's always been just another day for us.

But the kids like Valentine's Day. Alex especially. When she woke up this morning she was SO excited. 

"I'm going to get hugs and kisses and give Valentine's cards and get Valentine's cards and it's going to be so much fun!" she said to me this morning.

But I didn't know what today would be like (actually, being only 2 p.m., I still don't 'know'.) Last year, Valentine's Day was a tough one. Ryan's grandmother died mid-afternoon on February 14, 2012. By the time Ryan got home from work, him and I both knew and we were both pretty somber  After dinner, we had to tell the kids -- who were 5 and 3 at the time.

Fast forward one year to today. Facebook is filled with messages of loss one-year later from family members. I don't know how Ryan feels because I haven't seen him yet today (he's leaves for work before I'm up). I feel a little sad, but personally, I try not to remember the date someone close to me died. I'd rather remember them as they lived rather than when they died. The kids remember their great-nana well, and still talk about her from time to time, but they don't remember the exact day she died and they don't need to remember that. They want to have fun on Valentine's Day, and that they should.

And so, this is my long-winded way of saying that I decided to claim what was a meh day and turned into a sad day into a happy one. 

Last night, I quickly made cards for the kids -- nothing fancy, just some cute dollar store heart stickers on the front and a little love note inside. The kids' were glowing when they saw them on the table when they came to breakfast. I stuck a little love note in Ryan's lunch bag too.

For dinner we'll have these heart-shaped pizza pockets that I just finished making:

I was going to bake cookies but having to work and all, I didn't have time. Maybe the kids and I will make some after I pick them up from school.

Nothing fancy, just a way for the kids to have fun and for mom and dad to remember that we're surrounded every day by the people we love. 

So Happy Valentine's Day to everyone. May you always be surrounded by the people you love.