What spare time?

My Funny Valentine

2012-02-13T19:36:00.000-05:00

Ryan and I have never really 'done' Valentine's Day. I'm one of those women who doesn't really believe in it -- doesn't really feel the need to have someone else buy me something just because Hallmark says so. Call me cynical, but to me, Valentine's Day has always been just another day.

And of course, Ryan's on board with this because it means he doesn't have to do anything special.

Some years I've remembered to do special crafts with the kids or bake heart-shaped cookies, and other years, like this year, I just forgot. I remembered to do their Valentines for the kids in their class -- that's got to count for something, right?

But today at dinner, as Austin was telling us about the Valentine surprises he's making for us at school, Ryan made a joke about tomorrow being Valentine's Day and the kids were appalled. The conversation went like this:

Ryan (to me, teasingly): Tomorrow's Valentine's Day and you're not getting a card.

(Cue me giving the fake shock look)

Ryan (still to me): And I'm not buying you flowers.

(Again, cue the even more fake shocked look on my face)

Austin (looking completely appalled): Well if you're not giving mommy a valentine than I'm not giving you one!

So now Ryan's downstairs with the kids while they help him make a Valentine for me. Me thinks a 6-year-old just put him in his place!

Don't look back

2012-02-08T16:59:00.002-05:00

I've been feeling nostalgic these last few days. Nostalgic and even a little bit down -- which in all, is making me feel completely unmotivated to do anything.

I couldn't really pinpoint what was bothering me and why I was feeling this way. Until this morning, when I friend posted this on her Facebook wall.

And suddenly, I realized 'that was it'. For some reason, I've been spending the last few days looking back. Looking back to a time when my kids were babies.When life was simpler yet way more hectic at the same time.

This morning (about half an hour before I saw this picture) I was waiting outside the preschool with Alex. And as she was playing with a friend in the hallway, I had a flashback of Austin doing the same two years earlier. And suddenly I missed that three-year-old boy.

Yesterday, as I drove by the library that we rarely go to anymore (the farther one, we tend to walk to the closer one now), Austin said to me, "mommy, why don't we go there anymore?". And I found myself thinking about how I used to go there because I would push the two of them in the double stroller and it was a good excuse for me to get some exercise and a good excuse to pass a few hours out of the house.

So I guess I've been looking back. And missing the past. And missing my babies.

And no, I'm not saying I'm missing my babies enough to have another one. I'm just saying when the hell did my babies become 6 and almost 4! And have I really been home full time for almost 4 years?!

But seeing that picture this morning reminded me to stop looking back, stop feeling down, stop missing the past and to keep looking forward. That's the only direction life is going -- and there's a hell of a lot to look forward to as my babies get older.

I get by with a little help from my friends

2012-02-01T10:41:00.002-05:00

Everyone who has been reading my blog here knows that, for a few years now, I've been a stay-at-home mom and a work-from-home mom. All without daycare arrangements.

This isn't a woe-is-me-look-how-busy-my-life is kind of post. This is a thank you post. A thank you to all the people I don't say thank you enough to.

When I started this business almost three years ago, I had know idea how successful I'd be at. I had two thoughts at the time -- I want to stay home with my kids and, hey, I can write, maybe I'll freelance a bit.

And so I did. I stayed home with my kids. I played in the park, and taught them their ABCs and 123s. I sang songs and held dance parties and playdates. I watched them turn from toddlers to little people. I complained that some days I wanted to put them on the front porch with 'For Sale' signs hanging around their necks. And all the while, my business grew -- much to my amazement.

But with growth came a greater stretch on my time. Now, instead of just writing a few things for a total of a few thousand dollars as I did that first year, I was writing and editing a lot of things on a regular basis. And with a lot of work comes a lot of deadlines.

Deadlines, for the most part, I've managed to deal with for the most part on my own. That's what movie afternoons are for -- so that I can get a few hours of work in. And that's what school in the morning is for -- so I can get a few hours of work in. And that's what some late, late nights and weekends are for -- so I can get more than just a few hours of work in.

But more work also means more clients. And more clients means more meetings. And this is a lot trickier without any stable form of childcare available to you.

At first with my clients, I used to dance around the fact that I had kids at home with me. I tried to be all professional and being a stay-at-home mom wasn't all that professional. But eventually I loosened up and am honest with my clients -- existing and current -- I have kids and I have to work around that.

But, from time to time, I still have to meet with people.

And that's where this long, rambling post turns into a shout out of a thank you. Ryan works full-time and works long, long hours. He can't just stay home for me when I need to go out without the kids. At least not often. (He has, on occasion, stayed home for a few hours in the morning so that I could go to a breakfast meeting (and for that I am thankful) -- but I haven't done that in over a year.) But my friends have stepped up to the plate.

I've dropped my kids off with a friend on several different occasions so that my kids can play with her kids while I run off to a meeting. (Actually, two different friends have helped me out in this way.) Another friend has picked up my kids at school for me when I've scheduled meetings during school hours that mean cutting it close for driving back uptown. My sister, who has on-again, off-again been a freelancer over the years has taken the kids for me. And, when they can, my parents will drive down to play with their grandkids while I work. Heck, I've even paid a teenager down the street who didn't have a first period class to stay with the kids while I ran off to an early morning meeting once.

What I'm trying to say is thank you. Thank you to all of you who have helped me do what I do. Thank you for being so understanding; for adding a couple of kids to your crew for a few hours, buckling one of mine into a carseat in your car, or showing up at my house when I'm in need.

I wouldn't be able to do all of this if it weren't for all of you.

It's official

2012-01-29T16:28:00.003-05:00

I just clicked the submit button on my registration for the Toronto waterfront half-marathon in October. Which means, it's official -- 258 days from now, I'm running a half-marathon (and no, I didn't count it, there's a ticker on the official website).

21 kilometres, here I come!

(Yikes, what am I getting myself into?!)

The downside to being a stay-at-home mom

2012-01-13T09:20:00.000-05:00

For all the good things I can list about why I love being a stay-at-home mom, I can list just one draw back right now (ok, I could probably list more but I won't). No sick days.

No lying on the couch in my pajamas watching bad TV and feeling sorry for myself while the work piles up on my desk. Nope, instead I have two kids who are promising to be good for me today while I feel sorry for myself and wish I could lie on the couch in my pajamas all day.

My problem is strep throat for the second time in two weeks. In other words, the first round of antibiotics I just finished taking didn't kick the infection. But at least the first time I was sick, Ryan was on holidays -- at least for the first few days, before the antibiotics kicked in and I started to feel better. Now, no such luck. It's just no-energy me and two high-energy kids.

Can we say movie day?

Birthday celebrations

2012-01-10T10:00:00.000-05:00

A couple of days ago, I celebrated my birthday. It was a pretty low key affair, really, because once you pass the big 3-0 in my opinion (and you haven't hit the big 4-0) there's no real need to party. (Take note, when I turn 40, I'm having a party!) Especially when you have kids whose birthdays are also coming up soon. Knowing I have two kid birthday parties in the next few months makes for a quiet me birthday all that more enticing.

So, Ryan and I went out on a date on Saturday night for my birthday. A real dinner and a movie kind of date. Which, to be honest, is what made it so special -- it was a real date, the kind of date we don't get to do much anymore. Dinner and a movie for us usually means take out in the family room after the kids have gone to bed, a movie on-demand and a bottle of wine. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but a real date night out is definitely a nice treat.

So on Sunday, for my birthday, we didn't really have anything special planned. Just a day around the house. (Although I did take myself out for a pedicure -- my birthday present to me.)

But to the kids, a birthday isn't a birthday without a party, cake and presents. And, according to Alex, a decorated house.

About three days before my birthday, Alex suddenly decided that the house had to be decorated for my birthday. Makes sense in the mind of a 3-year-old -- we decorated for Halloween and we decorated for Christmas so we have to decorate for mommy's birthday.

Of course, all the Christmas decorations were still up (as was the tree) when she decided this.

So on Friday, Ryan took the kids to the dollar store to buy decorations and on Saturday we put away all the Christmas stuff. And on Sunday morning, when I woke up, the living room had been decorated by my kids. There was a Happy Birthday banner, colourful party streamers and even a mini disco mirror ball.

They yelled surprise and were so pleased with themselves. And the fact that they wanted to do this for my birthday made the day just that much more special.

My pseudo New Year's Resolutions

2012-01-02T23:13:00.000-05:00

I don't believe in making New Year's Resolutions. I used to, but years of setting the bar to high to simply fail in most of them within a month taught me otherwise.

But last year, I set goals -- things I wanted to do for myself, things I wanted to accomplish, or just things for the hell of it.

In 2011, I set out to do five things. Want to know how I did?

Run two 10-kilometre races: Check. I wanted to take my running up a notch last year -- after running a 10K race in 2009 and another in 2010. So, I ran 10K in May and in September of 2011 -- one of which was my best time by far.

Finally lose those extra 10 pounds. Check. I know this sounds like a silly New Year's Resolution -- the one that every other person makes on Jan. 1. The "this year, I'll lose weight." But last January, I decided that with an almost 3-year-old, I didn't want to be hanging on to the baby weight. And I was the heaviest I had ever been, with the exception of being pregnant. So, in the Spring, I lost 10 pounds. And it wasn't as painful as I thought it would be. But better yet, I felt good and I felt better about myself. And so, in the fall, I decided that I could stand to lose a few more. As of Jan 1, I'm 16 pounds lighter than I was last Jan. 1. That's the same weight I was when I got married -- and I haven't been that weight since, well since I got married.

Get organized. Hmm, this is where I over-stretched a little. It is, afterall such a broad statement. So maybe I'll tell you where I am more organized. I finally purged all the old kids' clothes that I've been hanging on to and can now actually get into the storage closet under the stairs. I emptied out a junk room and turned it into an office. But there's so much more I wanted to do.

Get the house painted. Nope. I hate the paint in my house. It's flat, it's cheap, it's boring beige and in places it's dirty as hell. I didn't like it when we moved in 7 years ago, now I really don't like it. But other than in my new office, not a drop of paint touched a wall in this house last year.

Read only books on my bookshelf. Not quite. Sounds like a silly goal, really. But it was just a personal challenge. You see, I suddenly realized that I had more than two dozen books on my book shelf that I've been wanting to read, yet haven't for various reasons. So I told myself, no shopping for books allowed. But I did buy three books this year -- just three, which is pretty good for me -- and I did read each of them right away, so that's got to count for something, right? (By the way, if you want to see what I read, check me out on Goodreads.)

So there's my 2011 in a nutshell. Here's the things I want to accomplish in 2012.

Run a half marathon. I blogged about this one last month, so there's not much more to say. I do think I'll register soon though, so I can't back down.

Keep the weight off. Now that I worked so hard to lose it (and did I mention I bought smaller jeans last week!), I intend to keep it this way.

Get organzied. Hmm, sound familiar? So I'm going to be a little more specific. This time, I want to organize and clean our file cabinet and turn as much as I can into paperless. (Yes I know, we're still not paperless and get all our bills the good ol' fashioned way.)

Paint. Seriously. This year, I really want to get it done.

Scrapbook more often. I like scrapbooking. And even though I blog (here and over on my family blog) and post online photo albums to share with friends and family and to 'document our lives', I still like to have and do scrapbooks of our lives. I started the year Austin was born and have plans of doing one every year. The problem? I'm woefully behind -- and only now am I ready to start 2010. That's right, here it is, January 2012 and my scrapbook life is back in January 2010. So my goal this year is to start and finish two scrapbooks -- 2010 and 2011 -- by December 31.

So that's it. Nothing earth shattering. Just a few things I want to do this year -- among all the other things I do in my every day life.

We wish you a Merry Christmas

2011-12-24T08:00:00.000-05:00

To my real life friends and family, to my bloggy world friends and to anyone who happens to stop by: Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah and a Happy New Year!

Another year, another pat on the back

2011-12-23T15:14:00.002-05:00

This week wraps up another full year of working for myself. Another year where I've learned to balance being a stay-at-home mom and work-from-home entrepreneur. Some days it's easy and other days I wish I had another 12 hours in the day -- or at least a daycare to send the kids to.

This year has been my second complete year of working for myself. I've learned to manage my time to a tee. I've learned that movie afternoons are sometimes not only acceptable, they're a necessity. I've learned that the second you pick up your work phone to make a business call, the kids will, without a doubt, need your attention and need it right now. I've learned to try not to feel guilty for ignoring the kids (in other words, letting them play by themself or letting them sit in front of the TV) when I absolutely have to get work done. I've learned to make the most of my days with them when I don't have a lot of work on the go -- or a lull in the work that is on the go. I've learned to sometimes live on less sleep.

I worked hard at my business this year. This will sound strange, and I think I've said it before, but I never dreamed I would be doing this. Aside from the easy part, which is writing and editing, I'm learning to smooze and network, sell my strengths and convince complete strangers to sit down and meet with me. In other words, I'm doing so many things I was never very good at and never had the confidence to do.

All while getting to do my dream job -- which is being a stay-at-home mom (all comments about how some days I want to put the kids on the front deck with signs around their neck that say 'free, take me home' will not be included in this post).

I worked hard this year. Last year at this time, I really only had three main clients, with some odds and ends other work on the side. This year, I have the same three core clients -- two of whom sent a lot of work my way -- and another dozen or so other contacts who have sent work my way. It really has been a word-of-mouth kind of business and I'm certainly not complaining.

And I'm proud to say that I brought in almost the exact same income as last year -- actually $66 more. Although I worked harder for every dollar this year than I did last year -- this year, I took a few jobs which didn't prove to be as profitable as I would've hoped. But I guess I can say that's another thing I've learned. I've learned to try not to sell myself short and to make sure that the job is actually worth the money.

As I move from part-time to full-time in Septemer 2012, my contacts and client roster is growing so I should be in good shape.

And what I'll definitely have by then is time. Because once the kids are in school full-time, I won't have to feel as guilty about balancing my mom job and my job job.

To go to bed, or to not go to bed

2011-12-22T11:10:00.002-05:00

I have a really bad habit when Ryan's out of town. I stay up way too late.

I don't know why I do it. When Ryan's home, he usually goes to bed before me (because he gets up at 5) and then I usually come up to bed around 10:30-11 p.m. Sometimes earlier. Sometimes he goes to bed later, and so we both turn in at the same time.

But when he's away, I can't seem to convince myself to go to bed. I can always convince myself to watch just a little more TV. Or do one more thing. Or, when I do finally manage to convince myself that I have to go to bed, I'll read just a few more pages.

So my usual weeknight bedtime just gets later and later and later. Until I realize that by the time I'm turning my light off, it's well after midnight. And unless I get to sleep in (which is just a dream when you have kids), going to bed after midnight is not enough hours of sleep for me.

As I said yesterday, luckily he doesn't go away often. And he rarely ever travels for work (I think I can count on one hand the number of times he's travelled for work since we've had kids. Actually, I think I can count using just a finger or two.) So, when he does go away, it tends to be on a weekend -- a guys weekend, or something like that.

And that's ok. A late Friday night, all day with the kids, a late Saturday night and then on Sunday he's home again.

But since this trip was unexpected and it's during the week -- here it is Thursday and I'm finding myself pretty damn tired. And it's my own fault. I haven't been to bed before midnight all week -- yet I'm still up just after 6. It's stupid really, and the only person I have to blame is myself. If I would just go to bed when I'm tired instead of staying up for an extra hour or two just because he's not home, I wouldn't be so tired.

But the crazy thing is, no matter how tired I may complain I am right now -- I'll still end up staying up past midnight tonight. Why is that?

Figuring out creative ways to pass the time

2011-12-21T17:16:00.001-05:00

Luckily, Ryan doesn't go out of town often. But he's out of town this week.

And although I'm on my own every Monday to Friday from the time the kids wake up until 6 p.m., somehow, knowing that he's hundreds of miles away makes the days just tick by so slowly.

I don't know why that is, really. Because the difference is only two hours -- it's only two extra hours I have alone with the kids that I wouldn't have if he were coming home as usual at dinner. But somehow, those two hours can make the entire day feel long.

What weird is that I don't feel this way if Ryan's just working late, or it's volleyball night and he's going straight there from work. I only feel like the days last forever when he's out of town.

I think that when Ryan's away, it just throws my routine off. I'm pretty set in my ways -- it's the best way I know how to keep my sanity as a stay-at-home mom. Every day, I drop the kids off at school, do whatever it is I need to do for a few hours, pick them up, have lunch, do stuff in the afternoon with them and then -- as it gets on to be 5 o'clock, I'm already thinking about making dinner and the fact that Ryan will be home soon. Maybe that's it. Here it is, getting on to be 5 o'clock and I know there's still 3 more hours to fill before bedtime. Part of my mentality of stir-craziness and the need to fill the time I think stems from the fact that the kids are also used to a certain routine. And they miss the fact that daddy isn't coming home at dinner time.

So, since Monday, I've been working hard to fill my days and fill my evenings. We've been to the library and visited Santa at the mall (just to say 'hi'), we've been to the Science Centre (just for an hour before close -- which by the way, is the perfect time to go) and we've had movie afternoons and yesterday after dinner, my neighbour came over with her kids for an hour. We've done a lot actually, but I still feel like I need to fill my time or I'll go crazy.

Or they'll kill each other.

Or me.

Or both.

(But I'll quit my whining now. This out-of-town trip wasn't exactly pre-planned, but you can't plan life. Just a few more days (I hope) and life will go back to normal.)

Why run?

2011-12-11T22:16:00.000-05:00

Sometimes, when I tell people that I'm a runner; the response I get is along the lines of 'why?'.

This response is usually followed by "wow, I can't run at all" and because they can't run, they figure it's the hardest thing, or the worst thing, or both, in the world and so they wonder why the hell I would want to do such a thing.

Sometimes, I wonder myself.

I started running -- seriously running -- a little over three years ago. I say seriously started running, because two to three years before that, I did try running. But I never managed to run more than a kilometre or so. And at the time, I had silly hopes of running a half marathon or marathon. But then I discovered how difficult it was and quickly abandoned the idea.

It was when I was on maternity leave with Alex that I started running again. And that's when I decided I was going to run 10 kilometres. It took me a year to work my way from being able to run a mere 1k to being able to complete a 10k race. But why did I do it? Because I wanted to prove to myself that I could. And I did. But why do I still do it?

Because I've discovered that I really like it.

Running clears my head. Running is the best stress relief at the end of a long day with the kids. Running keeps me in shape and, when I was training really hard this spring for a race, helped me finally lose the last of the baby weight. Running is something I can do all by myself -- when I can just let my mind wander, lose myself in the music from my ipod and have no one around to yell 'mommy'.

Don't get me wrong. It's hard work. There are some days when I'm running and I love it. It hurts but I love it. And I push myself just a little bit harder. And there are other days -- the bad run days -- where it becomes mind over matter and no matter how much I try to tell myself to keep going, all my mind can say is 'I can't do this anymore'.

I'm going to actually run this winter -- because usually I get a 3-month membership to the gym and then only bother going a few times. But I mean it this time, I'm going to run on the treadmill 2-3 times a week this winter. Why? Because yesterday I got my own treadmill.

Now why would I get my own treadmill when I've said before how much I hate running on a treadmill.

Because in 2012, I'm going to run a half marathon. That's 21.1 kilometres.

Gulp. I just said that out loud, didn't I?

Letter writing

2011-11-22T15:04:00.001-05:00

Last week was report cards at school. Austin did very well -- and his teacher's only comment was that he needs to continue working on his writing.

So I've taken that comment seriously (not that I would take it any other way) and started to encourage him to work on his writing. But I quickly realized that to a five-year-old boy, sitting down and 'writing' isn't all that much fun.

So, on the fly, I came up with a game to make it more interesting. And it's working. It might take him a while to write something but at least he's doing it.

What's he doing? He's writing letters. Practice I guess for that letter to Santa we should really write soon. Last week, when I suggested he write a letter to someone, he immediately decided he would write a letter to Grandpa.

And so he did. He wrote: To Grandpa, I do not have school tomorrow. Love Austin.

(It was a PA day the day after he wrote it.)

And we mailed it to grandpa -- who was thrilled to get a letter from his grandson.

He's working on another letter right now, this time telling another family member that he baked cookies today. The process of writing just those few words takes him about 30 minutes -- but the point is is that he's doing it.

So all you family members out there who read my blog. Keep checking your mailbox -- you never know when you'll get a letter from Austin.

I am so lucky

2011-11-15T21:28:00.001-05:00

We had a house full of people this past weekend. The first set of visitors -- my sister-in-law and her fiance -- were visitors we had been counting on. Visitors that we had made plans with weeks in advance.
But late Thursday afternoon, our friend who lives in Berlin called and asked if he could stay with us -- for about four days starting the next day. You see, he lives in Germany with his wife and son, but he's from here so he has some family in the area (two sisters). And he had a family emergency.

A horrible one.

His sister had had a baby early in the week. From what I understand, she had a healthy pregnancy and everything was fine. But when she went into labour, something went horribly wrong and the baby was deprived of oxygen for too long.

He died two days later.

I felt sick when my friend told me this on the phone from Germany. I feel sick just writing it down now. I feel sick just thinking about it and I feel pain for this woman I don't even know. I've never met my friend's sister and I know very little about her but I can't help but think about her.

This baby was her first. Here she was preparing to be a mother for the first time. The hopes, the fears, the getting-a-nursery ready, the baby showers and feeling those little kicks inside you.

And instead, she's left with an emptiness I cannot even begin to understand yet one that makes me feel sick just thinking about.

My friend says his sister is doing well...considering. But all I can do is hug my baby, who's 3 and a half now, and then hug my first baby, who's almost 6, and think: I am so lucky. I am so blessed.

Me time

2011-11-10T09:46:00.001-05:00

Ever since I've been home as a full-time mom, I've sort of 'scheduled' me time into my every day. And that me time is first thing in the morning.

Yes, I still need a few minutes to myself to get things done or ignore the world during the day, but that time to myself first thing in the morning is very important to me.

Since before Austin started JK last year, many mornings I would set my alarm so that I'd be up before the kids. Before we had a school day routine, I used to get up, make some coffee and then enjoy drinking my first cup of coffee in peace and quiet. Some days I do so while folding the laundry (I actually don't mind folding laundry, it's mindless), other times I'd read the paper, other times I'd surf Facebook or blog and other times I'd just tackle some small tidy up project that there's never enough time to do in a day (you know, like tidy up the never-ending junk pile on the dining room table). Since my kids are rarely up before 7 -- back in those days, I could get up at 6:30 or so and get anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour and a half to myself.

By the time Austin started school, I turned that several times a week habit into an every morning habit. And so many people I say this to think I'm crazy for getting up even a minute earlier than I have to.

But I love it.

Now, I set my alarm every morning for 6:15 a.m. I get up; I make coffee; I take a shower; then I get dressed and put on a bit of makeup while I drink my coffee. It's quiet and it's peaceful. No one is yelling, no one is demanding my attention.

It's just me and my coffee. And let's face it, I'm a much nicer person to the kids after I've had a cup of coffee.If there's still time when I'm all ready and backpacks are packed with snacks, I'll fold laundry (again, sounds weird, but it's a mindless activity that I don't mind), surf Facebook, read blogs or tackle some small tidy up project. And at 7:10 a.m, if no one is up yet, I'll start waking the kids and making breakfast.

It's my routine. It's my me time. And when that me time gets disrupted, it messes with my day.

The last few days -- ever since we changed the clocks back -- one or both of the kids have been waking up before 7. Often well before I've even managed to pour my coffee. And when I hear them step out of their room before 7 I just groan. I'm not ready for anyone yet. Even if it's only 15 minutes of me time lost, it's still 15 minutes that was mine. And now it's not.

So here's hoping the kids go back to having to be woken up in the morning. Because although I've gotten used to waking up early, I'd rather not wake up any earlier just to get more me time.

My business-savvy son

2011-11-07T11:02:00.000-05:00

At five years old, Austin has figured out that he wants money. Because having money means being able to buy things. And he wants to buy things. But he's smart enough to understand that I'm not just going to give him money.

So, Ryan and I recently started giving him an allowance. If both he and Alex do their list of chores every week -- on Saturdays, we give them one dollar each. It's not a lot of money, but their list of chores is quite short too. Every evening, they have to put the recycling out and they have to make sure their rooms are tidy. For the record, since we started this routine two weeks ago, we have to remind them to do their jobs -- and for the recycling, we have to unlock and open the back door for them -- but the point is, they do it.

Having the kids do a 'job' was, in a round about way, Austin's idea. A few weeks ago, as we were walking home from school, he pointed out that there sure was a lot of garbage on the ground. And there was -- not to stereotype, but we live near a high school and the students there don't always care to put their garbage in the pail (which is only a few feet away from where it gets strewn on the ground). And so, Austin decided to clean up a bit.

At first, I cringed. But then, we lay down the rules of what he can and cannot touch (no cigarettes, no broken bottles and no napkins or Kleenex) and he went to town.

And again the next day. And the next.

But now that he has discovered that he makes money by doing chores at home, he wants to make money elsewhere. No, he's not asking me to pay him to clean up the garbage near the high school.

Instead, he's hunting for beer cans.

Yup. Beer cans. You see, his grandpa told him that he picks up beer cans whenever he sees one on the ground and in return, he gets 10 cents a can from the store. Well Austin thought that was a great idea!

And now, whenever we're walking to the park; going for a bike ride; walking home from school; or even playing at the park -- he's on the lookout for beer cans. But, since he can't really read yet, he picks up an awful lot of Coke and Sprite cans.

But he did find one! One whole beer can hiding in the brush behind the playground. We were with his grandpa and grandpa had just found one on the edge of the brush. This was unacceptable to Austin so he actually went walking through the brush until he found one. And he did.

And he was so excited that he was going to get 10 whole cents!

When we got home from the park, I took the beer can from him, added it to our empties and gave him a dime -- which he proudly put in his piggy bank.

Of course, now that he's found one, he's always on the hunt for more. Maybe if we're lucky, by the time he goes to university, he'll have collected enough cans to pay for it. Then again, in another 9 cans, maybe I'll just take him to the dollar store.

Rocking the Mo for Movemeber

2011-11-02T10:33:00.000-04:00

Two years ago, Ryan grew a beard. Sorry hon, but I'll tell the truth -- he sort of did it by accident. It was Christmas holidays and he was on vacation for about a week and a half. The beard grew out of laziness -- he didn't feel like shaving. But after 9 or 10 days, he admitted that he kind of liked it, if he, you know, cleaned it up a little. And I admitted that I kind of liked it too.

And so, the beard was born.

As I said, that was only two years ago so until that point he was always clean-shaven. And yet, I got used to it. And I really like it.

But yesterday -- November 1 -- he shaved it all off. And so, (since I didn't see him in the morning), he came home from work yesterday afternoon and I saw him clean shaven for the first time in two years.

But it's all for a good cause. He's growing a mo for Movember. What's Movember, some of you may ask.

It's the month where guys grow mustaches to raise money and awareness for men's health -- but specifically for prostate cancer. And not only do they raise money, but the sometimes funny-looking mustaches they sprout spark a conversation or two or ten about the importance of men's health. Because let's be honest here -- most men I know (my mustache-growing hubby included) don't always have their health at the top of their priority list. It's not that he doesn't care about his health -- he eats well, exercises, etc. -- but going to the doctor just for check up...now there's something that doesn't often happen without a wife's subtle and not-so-subtle reminders.

So I support the growing of the Mo. There are countless women's health campaigns out there -- but something that supports men's health and prompts men to talk and take action is a rarity. It's literally an in-your-face campaign. So support Ryan's Movember campaign -- he'll be posting pictures on his official fundraising page throughout the month -- or support someone else you may know (because I know many of my readers don't actually 'know' me or Ryan) and their Movember campaign.

After all, who doesn't love a guy who's rocking the mo?

My rocker kids

2011-10-25T22:22:00.001-04:00

We've created monsters in our house. Or maybe we've proved that kids don't only want to listen to The Wheels on The Bus all day long.

My kids like AC/DC and Guns 'n Roses.

It started in the summer with Austin. I'm not sure I even remember how or why, but AC/DC's Thunderstruck was on and Austin liked it. He started singing along. And Ryan taught him to make the rock 'n roll sign. And for days, he'd go around the house singing 'Thunder....nah nah nah nah nah nah....Thunder'.

And so, Alex picked it up.

Then, a few weeks later, the kids and I were driving home from the grocery store and Guns 'n Roses' Paradise City came on the radio. And Austin pipes up from the back seat: "I like this song!".

The next day, he was playing by himself in his room and singing: "Take me down to the Paradise City where the grass is green and the girls are pretty. Oh won't you please take me home."

I laughed out loud.

And what was even funnier was when Alex picked it up a few days later. Except she has it down pat to include the 'yeah yeah' at the end of the chorus. And she likes the song so much that several times a week she asks to hear it. Or randomly starts singing it from the back seat of the car.

And so, between her Guns 'n Roses obsession and her AC/DC obsession, we seem to have a genuine rocker chick on our hands. And then, as we were going through a bag of hand-me-down clothes, we found this shirt:

And she's in heaven.

Although, since it's a hand-me-down shirt from a friend of mine, I guess I'm not the only mom with a three-year-old rocker chick!

Pour your heart out: Just the thought of it makes me anxious

2011-10-19T10:56:00.001-04:00

I've been home full-time for three and a half years now. Since Alex was born. For the first year, I was on maternity leave -- meaning (for my U.S. readers) I was collecting EI payments and was on leave from my job. After the year was up, I never went back. It was a long and complicated story as to the various reasons I never went back, but suffice to say, I haven't worked in an office in 3 and a half years.

Instead, I plunged myself in to full-time educator, entertainer, snuggler and bum wiper. Oh yeah, and part-time freelance writer and editor. That line between part-time and full-time sometimes blurs and I find myself working a silly amount. But other times, I have no work on the go and I have lots of time to just spend with the kids.

I never really had a concrete plan as to how long I would stay home. I figured I'd definitely stay until Austin was in JK (that's come and gone) and most likely until Alex was in Kindergarten. Then, I figured, at some point around then, I'd go and find another job.

But working for myself has been both rewardig and profitable. And I'm only doing it part-time. The possibilities open up dramatically when I think about when I can actually work on a more full-time basis.

And the possibility of that terrifies me.

You see, unlike Austin who spent last year and this year in half-day Kindergarten -- starting full-time school in Grade 1 next September -- Alex will be going to full-day Kindergarten. All the schools in Ontario are changing from half-day to full-day for 4 and 5 year olds by 2015 and our school is changing in September. So suddenly, two years earlier than I expected it -- I'm going to have no kids from 8:30 until 3:30 every single day.

Did I say that that terrifies me.

Part of it is just not wanting to change -- I like being with my kids every day. And I like the fact that I get Austin every afternoon still. And the idea that I can now have 6 to 7 hours EVERY SINGLE DAY to work, instead of only an hour and a half when they're both in school (Kindergarten and preschool) and many evenings and weekends is something I rejoice at. But is also causing me a lot of anxiety.

What if I can't get enough work to fill all of my hours. What if I find myself for days and weeks at a stretch with no work. That's the nature of contract work -- you work when there's work, and you don't when there isn't. And if I go through great stretches with no work, what will I do to fill my days in a quiet house? And that's the second downside to working for yourself (the first being when there's no contracts, there's no paycheques), there's no colleagues to work with -- no water cooler to chat at. Just me, my basement office and my laptop.

Will I like it? I don't know. Will I be able to get enough work to transition from part-time to almost full-time? I don't know. Will I prefer to go back and work for a company and go to an office every day? I don't know. Will I continue working from home and try it out once the kids are both in schol? Yes. Because doing this gives me the flexibility to take my kids to school every day and pick them up every day -- and just be with them a little bit longer. But is the whole thing making me anxious a whole year in advance? Absolutely.

Pour Your Heart Out: A terrible disease

2011-10-12T07:00:00.000-04:00

I've been reading Shell out Things I Can't Say for months. If you don't read her, check her out. And every Wednesday, she runs a meme called Pour Your Heart Out -- where you get to write about whatever you want, no critical comments allowed. I've thought about writing for months -- I've even started a few posts but never finished one. So here I am, trying again.

My grandmother has Alzheimer's Disease.She's 97 years old. So your first thought may be along the lines of "well, she's 97, she's lived a good life" or "wow, she's 97 years old!". And both of those statements are true. She has lived a good life and wow, she is 97. But no one, regardless of their age, should have to go like this.

Until two years ago -- at the age of 95 -- she lived by herself in the upstairs of a Duplex in Montreal. Her two sons (my dad and his brother) lived in other cities. And she was doing fine. But then she started to forget things, and started to make odd statements (and I don't need to go into details) and my dad and his brother became concerned. So, she moved to Ontario and in with my parents -- but before long, she moved to a retirement home and now a nursing home.

And since she moved into the nursing home in the winter, I feel like she's been deteriorating rapidly -- but maybe it's just because we didn't see her a lot during the disease's onset. I saw her less than two weeks ago for the first time in almost two months (her nursing home is an hour and a half away from my house so it's not an easy trip to make without pre-planning). She recognized me but never once said my name. In other words, she doesn't remember it. In August, when I last saw her, she knew my name. And at Easter when I saw her, she knew my name and that Ryan was my husband. This time, she didn't remember my name and wasn't quite sure who Austin was. He was such a good kid -- wanting to come with me to visit her -- and it broke my heart to have to explain to a five-year-old that although she'll be happy to see you, she might be 'silly' and not remember your name. And she didn't. But he took it in stride -- better than I did I think.

And when we talked about his sister, Alexandra, with her, she had no idea who she was or that she even had a great-granddaughter. And yes, she's met my daughter many times.

Soon will come a time when I go visit where, not only will she not remember my name, but she won't remember who I am. And I'm not sure I'm ready to deal with that yet.

Back in January of this year, she was hospitalized for pneumonia And although she was already visibly suffering affects of the disease, she was still very chatty and cognitive of her surroundings. And I sat for about 45 minutes and chatted with her. It was an odd conversation in that, some moments were very clear, and other moments we were talking about how she forgot to call her office and tell them she wouldn't be in that day. But we talked.

And in a way, I think I might have said goodbye to her that day. Because now, when I visit her, it makes her happy -- because she's always happy to see people -- but it's not entirely her there anymore, it's the disease.

And this disease is a terrible way for a person -- any person -- to end their life. It robbing her of 97 years of memories, and leaving memories for the rest of that we'd rather forget.

Racing Day run report

2011-09-26T22:16:00.000-04:00

Saturday was racing day -- my 10K run at the zoo.

It started off as a great day. The weather was beautiful -- sunny and about 14C -- the warmest it has ever been for any of my races and I was excited to have a running buddy. The only downside to the day was that when I woke up that morning, my chest felt tight and my muscles were achy -- I figured it was the onset of a cold and I popped some cold drugs (hey, there's no drug test at these races, so it's ok!)

But within a kilometre and a half, I realized that this 'cold' was going to kick my ass and this was not going to be an easy race. My breathing was off, my legs wouldn't loosen up and the whole thing just felt like a struggle. The only thing that kept me going at a decent pace was my running buddy -- we stuck together for the first six and a half kilometres -- and having him beside me definitely kept me in the mental game of wanting to 'keep up'.

But back to the 1.5K mark -- I was already feeling like I was struggling and there was a still a long way to go. But I powered on, and it felt like it got a bit easier. Finally, we rounded 4K and I needed to take a minute to catch my breath, so we walked for a minute or so before starting up again.

As we rounded 5, our cheering squad was waiting for us -- Ryan and the kids and Hugh's wife and kid were yelling and cheering us on. And, in every other race, I've smiled and waved at my cheering squad as I ran by. And I'm sure I did this time, but Ryan later told me that he saw the look on my face and saw that I was having a bad day.

Because you see, bad run days happen from time to time. And when I'm out on a training run, and it's just not going my way, I usually call it quits -- say 'to hell with it', head for home and run again another day. Except when running the race I've been working towards for the last few months -- I didn't want to call it quits.

At 6 and a half kilometres, my running buddy left me. I was seriously starting to slow down, and he wanted to push through. I don't begrudge him for leaving me at all (we had actually talked about it before we even started -- that when one wanted to leave, then they should just go). But after he left, I lost a lot of motivation to go on.

The last few kilometres are a bit of blur. I wanted to quit -- but I didn't want to. And so I pushed on, and on, and on. I felt like I was barely moving. And even when I got to 9 and had hoped to pick up the pace, I just couldn't do it.

The kids and Ryan were cheering for me just past 9 and a half and I tried to smile and wave but I was hurting. Ryan ran over the hill and met me on the other side as I rounded the corner -- maybe 200 metres from the finish line -- and encouraged me to go on, told me I could do it.

And I did. I finished. And at first, when I got my time, I was disappointed. It wasn't as fast as I had hoped. But then I remembered, that what I really wanted to do was quit -- and I didn't. So that was all that mattered. And besides, it's still faster than the very first time I ran the zoo run in 2009.

So I finished the run in 1:15.7. I'm pretty pleased with myself, actually. In 23 months, I've run 4, 10K runs, and 3 of them have been in the last 11 months. And these two monsters and my very supportive hubby have gotten out of bed early on a weekend morning each time just to stand outside (sometimes in the cold) to cheer me on as I run by.

Oh yeah, and when I got home I could barely move -- I was hot and I was shivering. So I got out the thermometre, took my temperature and discovered I had a low-grade fever. No wonder it was such a hard run!

Something tells me he may not want to hang out with me by then

2011-09-23T21:37:00.001-04:00

Austin's in SK now but it's still only half days. Meaning, by lunch time, he's home with me and Alex.

He's never blantantly expressed it, but sometimes I get the feeling that he feels left out by the fact that Alex and I hang out every morning and he goes to school. Even though he enjoys school, he feels he's missing out on mommy time. He gets school time and mommy, Austin and Alex time. But never mommy and Austin time anymore.

Last year this wasn't a problem. Because last year, when he was in half-day JK, Alex still napped in the afternoons. So after lunch, it would be mommy and Austin time while Alex slept. Now, to be fair, some days, he watched TV or played quietly in his room while I worked during that time -- but other days, it was 'our time'.

We don't get that anymore. Although it makes me realize that I need to make a point some weekends to do something just with him for a bit.

Anyway, this afternoon, he was figuring out what grade he would be in when Alex started JK (Grade 1). And then he proceeded to go though the entire grade system, one by one, telling me what grade Alex would be in when he was in such-and-such grade.

And then he got to Grade 12 (and Alex would be in Grade 10) and he said: "and then I'll be done school and I can stay home with you mommy when Alex goes to school."

It was really sweet actually. But something tells me that by the time he finishes Grade 12 (and he's, gulp, 18 years old), he won't necessarily want to stay home and play with me every day anymore!

And this is why I stay home with the kids...because I may have my bad days and complain that the kids are driving me crazy -- but before I know it, they won't want to stay home and 'play' with me anymore.

Magic Moments

2011-09-19T16:19:00.002-04:00

I've been reading Shell at Things I Can't Say for months now. This week, she's linking up Magic Moments, so, I decided to join in.

Here's mine:

This is my daughter Alexandra (who is now 3, by the way). As my friends and family know, she was born in a hurry -- a mere 7 minutes after I walked into the hospital triage room. Oh yeah, and in the middle of the night -- 4:27 a.m. to be exact.

Ryan snapped this picture about two hours after the frenzy that was her birth. First there was the panic of waiting for a friend to get to our house in the middle of the night to stay with Austin; then the mad rush to the hospital; then there was the mad rush of the doctors and nurses trying to set up the birthing suite and telling me not to push just yet; then out she came; and then everyone else was bustling about afterwards doing all the things I'm supposed to do before the birth (like fill out forms for admission, get a hospital bracelets, etc.)

When all was said and done, the nurse wheeled me and Alex to our room where, once settled into bed, we had our first moment of peace and quiet (and Ryan and I realized it was only 6:30 in the morning!). She dozed lightly on my chest as I lay in bed -- and Ryan snapped pictures. And then she opened her eyes, and almost looked like she was smiling for the camera.

And here's another one of my favourite moments. I was an unusually hot day for early May (last year), and Ryan was visiting his dad with the kids (I was visiting my sister and nephew in California). They took the kids to the beach (in May!) and I just love this picture he captured of the two of them playing together. They almost always play so well together and this picture is them just doing that. Either that, or it's them conspiring against us.

I am linking up with Shell over at Things I Can't Say Sharing My Magic Moments this week.

Racing day, it's (almost) racing day

2011-09-18T20:20:00.000-04:00

At the start of 2011, I set myself of goal of running two 10K races this year. Why? I don't know really. Just to prove to myself that I could I guess.

In October 2009, I ran my first 10K, the Zoo Run and as almost as soon as I finished, I wanted to run another, but then I sprained my ankle and ended up on crutches -- and so, the May 2010 race was out of the question. So, I recovered, built up my strength and re-trained to run the Zoo Run again in October 2010.

The first time, I was so proud of myself for just being able to do it. The second time, I was proud of myself for managing to do it again when it would've been so much easier to say the hell with it after spending time on crutches.

The third time, in May of this year, I was just excited to be able to do the run I had wanted to do the year before. And it a fun one. And I did it fast too. This time, I don't know. I'm excited, but for the first time don't feel the least bit stressed about whether I can do it. I know I can do it. I may not do it as fast I would like to (afterall, the May run was all downhill, this one is, umm, full of hills), but I know I can do it.

So why do it? Well as I said, to prove to myself that I can. That I can do two runs in one year; that I can maintain my fitness and endurance level for longer stretches of time that one-year intervals.

It'll be a fun run. It'll be the very first time in three years of running that I'll have a running buddy. I convinced two friends to sign up with me -- one has had to pull out because of an injury but the other will be running beside me on racing day. I'm looking forward to it.

And when it's done, I will not only have ran two 10K races in this year, but in actually, it'll be three 10K races in a 12-month period -- because the Zoo Run last year was in October 2010 and the Zoo Run this year is September 2011. So in 11 months, I will have run three 10K races. Not to shabby now that I think about it.

So what's my big plan for next year? I have one in mind. One that I'm not entirely willing to share just yet. Because sharing means committing and I'm not quite ready to commit to that many kilometres just yet. Ask me next Spring -- that's when I'll be deciding.

How does your garden grow?

2011-09-07T15:58:00.001-04:00

Remember me? It's been awhile since I've had time to sit down and write.

Anyway, the backyard growing season is just about wrapping up for me; the fall weather came in with a vengeance on Monday -- what is it, Mother Nature figured it's Labour Day so that's it, summer's most definitely over?

So, how did my garden do this year? Unfortunately, not so well.

But the good first. My raspberry bush was fantastic! Every day for the month of July, the kids and I would go outside in our pajamas and pick about a pint worth of raspberries. Every single morning for a month. And every single day we ate raspberries -- and I can't say 'we ate them until we got sick of them' because we never got sick of them. I'd like to also say that I made jam or some other tasty treats with the raspberries. But no. We ate them. And ate them. And ate them.

And they were delicious!

The cucumbers did alright. I haven't had to buy cucumbers at the store for about a month now, and I made two batches of relish with the overflow cucumbers -- so I guess they did more than alright. But then again, I planted five cucumber plants this year instead of two or three -- so it kind of makes sense that we had more cucumbers.

The tomatoes produced, but nowhere near as many as the last two years. In fact, we had enough to eat tomatoes whenever we wanted one with dinner but there was never an excess. So no tomato sauce and no salsa this year. I had to buy baskets of tomatoes from the market to cook with.

And the zucchini. Well, think back to last year when I complained that my damn zucchini plant was taking over my garden and producing multiple baseball bat size zucchinis on an what-seemed-like daily basis. I had so much zucchini that after we ate as much as we could and I baked as much zucchini bread as we could handle (and I used 12 cups of shredded zucchini in two batches of salsa) I still had something like 10 or 12 cups of shredded zucchini in the freezer.

This year....1 zucchini. That's it. My entire plant produced just one single zucchini. And we ate it.

But, believe it or not, I still had shredded zucchini in the freezer from last summer! So maybe, somehow, my new plant knew that I didn't really need any more of the vegetable.

How to be popular with your kids

2011-08-25T17:31:00.000-04:00

You've probably noticed that I've been out of touch lately. For any of you who read my family blog as well, you'll notice that it's horribly out-of-date as well, with no new pictures from the summer, no write up on our vacation and no updates on what the kids are doing.

It's not you, it's me. Honestly.

I've been insanely busy these last few weeks. We were at the cottage for the second week of August, and just a couple of days before we left, I got not one big contract, but two. Both require what feels like a million hours of work and both are due within days of each other. Like tomorrow ( a deadline I won't entirely make, through no fault of mine) and early next week.

So, in an effort to squeeze every single minute out of every day, I've been working like crazy. And still trying to do things with the kids. But, they hung out with a sitter twice last week, and this week they hung out with grandparents.

So, how am I popular with my kids when I haven't had any time for them lately. Easy:

Give them all day Wednesday with granddad (so mommy can work), then give them all day Thursday with grandma (so mommy can work). Grandparent time is fun for both the kids and the grandparents, so there's no guilt on my part of shuffling them off and neglecting to spend time with them.

Oh yeah, and when all that grandparent time is done....the way to really put the icing on the cake of making you popular with the kids is to take them to McDonalds for dinner (because daddy is going to the Jays game tonight and won't be home for dinner and I don't feel like cooking).

So, avoiding your kids for two days and then neglecting your duties of making dinner for them is a sure-fire way to be popular.

Who knew?

One of my favourite places

2011-08-15T23:22:00.002-04:00

We were at the cottage last week. I say 'the cottage', although it's not our place -- it's a place we rent. But this is the third summer in a row that we've rented this cottage and the fourth year that we've rented from the same guy (the first summer, we rented on this property, we rented the cottage next door.)

It's two cottages owned by a guy. The cottages are more or less hidden from each other by trees and each have their own private beach. What they share is their waterfront --which is huge. So in reality, when we rent this cottage, we have a huge property, with a huge sandy beach and about 50 yards of private waterfront that is shallow enough for the kids to walk in all the way to the dock.

It's just outside a small town about 60 kilometres north of Huntsville (or about 3 hours north of home). It's quiet, it's relaxing. There's absolutely nothing to do there. And I love it. It's one of my favourite places to be.

And the kids love it. Because to an adult, there's absolutely nothing to do there (which is heaven) but to a kid, there's everything to do there (which is heaven).

So while I spent the week reading an entire book, working on my latest scrapbook in the evenings, getting out for three good runs and, of course, playing with the kids in the water and the sand, they spent the entire week running around the property, burying each other in the sand and spending hours upon hours in the water.

So as I sit here today (Monday) buried in work (I have two big contracts right now with short turnarounds) and surrounded by mountains of laundry and unpacked bags, I think back to my view from the porch last Monday, and rather wish I was there instead of here:

Only 51 more weeks until we can go back.....

It's alive! It's alive!

2011-07-28T15:32:00.005-04:00

...or phone saga part III.

Yes, my phone is alive. Turns out, I fretted and stressed and spent way too much time on the phone with my service provider looking for solutions than I needed to.

I just needed to take the phone to a nearby cellphone repair shop and for $40 the guy replaced the parts behind the trackball. A little more than 30 minutes after I walked into the store, I walked out with a phone working good as new.

Let's just hope it stays that way. Goodness knows you're all tired of reading about me and my phone.

So, really, the moral of this saga is: don't be a dumbass and leave your phone lying in the rain.

It didn't make it

2011-07-27T14:44:00.001-04:00

My phone didn't quite make it.

After drying out for a day and a half, I put it back together yesterday afternoon and powered it up. And did a little happy dance when it booted up and then turned on and then started showing me all the messages I'd missed.

And then....the track ball didn't work so I couldn't actually view any of those messages. (Actually, I have since figured out ways to navigate without using the track ball -- it's very difficult and is very limited. For example, I can go to a new unread message, but I can't read anything longer than one screen in length. And, once I've read a message, I can't go back to it later.)

So, needless to say, it's not a very effective Blackberry anymore. Sigh.

So, I took it to Rogers this morning. And the technician tried to fix it. He was really nice and all, but nope, he couldn't fix it. My options are to take it to a cellphone repair shop (because he was nice enough to tell me that if I send it out for repair through Rogers, it'll cost me more than twice as much as going to a repair shop myself) or get a new one.

The get a new one sounds like the best option except for one small problem -- I'm 10 months away from being eligible for an upgrade, which means that it'll cost me a minimum of $250 to get a new phone.

Sigh.

Today's dumbass award goes to...

2011-07-25T11:25:00.004-04:00

...me.

To keep it short and sweet -- I left my phone, my Blackberry to be precise, lying on the front deck last night. I remember sitting on the steps, reading a magazine while the kids played on the driveway and I remember taking my phone out of my pocket because it was jabbing me in the hip.

What I didn't remember to do was to pick it up and put it back in my pocket when it was time to go in.

So that's where it stayed. All night. On the front deck.

Did it get stolen? No. But it might as well have. You see, it rained last night. For the first time in a month.

That's right, it hasn't rained in an entire month here. Other than a slight drizzle on one or two days, there hasn't been a good soaking of rain since June 23.

It rained early this morning. Poured actually. Thunder, lightening, heavy downpour kind of rain. All while my phone was out there taking a bath in it.

Ryan discovered it as he left for work just after 6 this morning. He brought it in, took all the parts out and started wiping it out with a towel. I woke up to sounds of him cursing under his breath and went to check out what was wrong. And then I started cursing -- not so under my breath.

A little research taught me the following things about a wet phone: 1) DO NOT attempt to turn it on when it's wet. 2) Take all the pieces out (battery, etc.) 3) put it in a container full of rice (the starch will absorb the moisture) and leave it there for at least 24 hours, longer if you can.

So, that's where my poor Blackberry is right now -- buried in a bowl of rice on the kitchen counter.

I feel naked without it. I can't get work phone calls. I can't get my business e-mail on the go. I can't get texts. I can't use bbm. I can't check Facebook.

But I can live with being naked for one day. All I really hope is that when I take it out of that bowl of rice tomorrow (or the next day) that it turns on.

A crazy idea

2011-07-13T23:37:00.001-04:00

On Monday, I did something really crazy. It's crazy because it didn't work. If it had worked, it would've been brilliant. But it didn't so, I'm just a crazy geek.

You see, I'm a huge U2 fan. Have been for years and years. I've seen them in concert 4 times -- the most recent time being almost 2 years ago when I had General Admission tickets. It was a fantastic show -- maybe because I'm such a big fan, or maybe because it really was great, or maybe because with our general admission tickets, the experience was different because I was the closest I've ever been to the stage.

But when they announced a second show in Toronto just 8 months after the first, I decided to take a pass. Afterall, I had just shelled out lots of money to see this tour, I didn't need to see it again.

Then the show got cancelled and rescheduled for this summer. And this past Monday, U2 was in town -- almost 2 years since I had last seen them. And suddenly, I really wanted to go.

But I didn't have a ticket.

So I moped about most of the day, I tried to win tickets on the radio (yup, I'm a geek) and I admitted to myself that I wasn't going to go to the show.

At 5:30, Ryan said to me "if you really want to go, go down and buy a scalper ticket."

I thought about it for about half a second and said that we didn't need me spending several hundred dollars on a scalper ticket. Even though his response was "it's up to you", I swear, he exhaled just a little when he knew I wouldn't spend that kind of money on a ticket.

Then, at 8:30 -- a mere half an hour before U2 came on, it was Ryan who came up with the crazy idea. He said: "why don't you go downtown now and see if you can get a cheap scalper ticket?"

I couldn't believe I hadn't thought of that earlier! Fourteen years ago, when Ryan and I saw U2 for the first time, we were poor students. So, on the night of their second show, we went down to the Skydome about 15 minutes after U2 hit the stage, hit up the first scalper we saw and got tickets for 20 bucks. I think that might have even been $20 for the pair, not $20 each. It was cold out, the show had already started and the scalper just wanted to go home.

Fast forward 14 years and I find myself thinking about repeating that experience. After a few minutes of indecision, I go for it. I jumped in my car at 8:45 and drove downtown -- getting there about 9:05.

But here's the kicker -- and here's what turned a brilliant idea into a crazy idea. I couldn't find parking. All the lots were full, so I started circling the streets. It was almost 9:30 by the time I found somewhere to park and almost 9:40 by the time I made my way back to the Rogers Centre.

By then it was too late.

I walked up and down the street and made a complete tour of the Rogers Centre but couldn't find a single scalper. At one point, a couple were yelling "who's got tickets?" and no one was biting. By this time, anyone who may have still had tickets had given up and left.

Too bad really, I wouldn've happily parted with $20 or $30 to catch the last half of the show.

But instead, I was just a geek wandering around outside the stadium, catching little bits of the concert (Rogers Centre was actually playing other audio outside so you couldn't just stand around and listen....jerks!). At one point, I found a window, where if you stood just at the right angle, you could see part of the big screen. So I stood there for a few minutes and watched.

And then, I walked back to my car and drove home.

No ticket, no U2 concert. Just a crazy idea.

Discovering your own city

2011-07-12T16:25:00.001-04:00

I've been living in Ontario for almost 21 years now and with the exception of the odd summer and about six months (where I worked elsewhere), I have been living in Toronto for 16 of those 21 years. (So I guess if you take all that time off, it's fair to say, I've been living in Toronto for 15 years.)

In that time, I've lived right downtown in the heart of the city, I've lived uptown in a sort-of trendy area and I've lived in the suburbs -- which is where I am now.

And in 15 years, I've gotten to know a lot of this city. Parts I know really well and can easily make my way around to the best restaurant, the best park, the best splash pad or the best bar (depending on what needs I need to fill at the time) and other parts I've been to, but don't know well. Hey, it's a pretty big city afterall.

So, imagine my surprise, when earlier this month, I discovered a part of the city I never knew existed.

Ever since Austin learned to ride his bike this spring, we've been going on family bike rides -- with Alex on the back of Ryan's bike of course. They started out as short rides, as I was constantly picking him up off the ground, but, as he improved, they gradually got longer. Until Canada Day weekend, when we decided to try out our new car bike rack.

We strapped our bikes to our car and drove to Wilket Creek Park. (For those not familiar with the area, it's near Eglinton and Leslie -- and for those not familiar with that, well, it's in Toronto). I've been there a few times over the years, walking along the path in the fall with the kids (it's really beautiful in the fall). But this time, instead of going the way I knew (north), we decided to check out where the southern path took us.

Turns out, Toronto has a whole system of bike trails (or walking/running/inline skating trails) that I never knew existed. There we were, down in the valley, far away from traffic and buildings -- biking along trails through open fields and through forests. Under bridges and over creeks. Who knew?

About 3 kilometres away from where we started, we reached a path that travelled parallel to the DVP. And although Ryan and I would've loved to keep going -- we figured 6 kilometres (we had to go back afterall!) was probably enough for Austin's little legs. So we turned around and headed back where we came from.

After that adventure, I'm already excited for our next non-busy weekend so that we discover other routes along that trail.

It's just about that time of year again

2011-06-29T22:23:00.000-04:00

I'm planning to take the kids strawberry pickings in the morning. It'll be the third year in a row that the three of us go so I guess that officially makes it a tradition. And I figured it would be a fun way for us to start off the summer holidays.

I'm excited about the outing - I love strawberry picking - but I'm even more excited for what we get to do when we come home with a big bucket of freshly picked strawberries...make jam. Last summer, I really got into the canning, making four batches of jam (strawberry, peach and two batches of grape), two batches of salsa, a batch of relish and a batch of pickles. And now suddenly, I find myself tracking down all my recipes and looking for new ones. Who knew canning could be so much fun!

Sure it's a ton of work, but, last summer at least, the kids helped with the cooking part and I don't see why they wouldn't this year. And getting to eat fresh-made jam...yum!

Although this year, I'll try to make the strawberry jam a little less syrup like!

Wordless Wednesday: Last day of school

2011-06-29T15:23:00.000-04:00

No more pencils, no more books, no more teachers....well actually, Austin's JK teacher was a wonderful woman who we will all truly miss next year when he starts at the French Immersion school in the fall.

But no need to think about that right now. Right now, there's just one happy boy as he heads off to his last day of school before summer vacation. It doesn't feel that long ago that I was taking first day of school pictures....

My office: Before and After

2011-06-10T07:45:00.002-04:00

When I started working as a freelance writer two years ago, I didn't have a proper home office. My office was also the family room, was also the kids' play room. In other words, I had a desk and a computer at one end of our all-purpose room.

It worked sometimes.

But other times, it was challenging. If I needed to get some work done in the afternoon, it was hard to just put a movie on for the kids to distract them -- because the TV was in the same room. And on a weekend -- especially in the winter -- if I needed a few hours to work, Ryan couldn't exactly just take the kids downstairs to play. Because their toys were in the same room.

So late last year, we decided that our so-called spare room would become my office. I call it a so-called spare room because it was really a pretty sad room. Which is part of the reason I resisted the idea at first. The thought of working in such a sad room was depressing. It's a tiny room in the basement. And it's windowless.

So already it had two knocks against it. But then there was the way we had treated it for the last five years or so which made it even more depressing.

First of all, it had a bed in it. A double bed which took up most of the space. It was such an old bed that one side of the mattress now had a hole in it (and some people when staying over requested to sleep on an air mattress in the family room rather than on the spare bed in the spare room.). Yes, it was that bad.

But secondly, even more important than the sad bed was the mess in the room. The spare room was where we sent everything we didn't know what to do with to die. Extra pieces of furniture...store it in the spare room. Old baby stuff...spare room. Presents we're not quite sure what to do with....spare room. Random items that should really be thrown out...spare room. And every time someone would come to stay, we would do a quick clean out of the room -- which usually invovled hauling as much crap out of it as we could and putting it somewhere else in the basement. When they left, the crap would go back.

And because of all the crap, the room was rarely dusted or vaccumed. So it was crowded, dirty and full of crap. Oh yeah, and it was wall-to-wall dark wood panelling (and don't forget, I said it's a tiny room).

Not exactly an appealing place to park myself day in and day out to work.

So, in early February I got to work. First a friend helped me clear out some of the crap -- it always helps to have someone else who has no history with any of the stuff to be ruthless for you. Then, we put the bed on the curb for the garbage truck. Then I packed up everything else that wasn't being thrown out and started painting.

By the end of February, the room was primed and painted By the end of March we had a new futon (because this tiny little room had to serve two purposes -- an office for me and a guest room for anyone who may need to stay over.) By early April, I had a brand new IKEA desk.

And I did it almost all by myself. I say almost all because I did the planning and the painting. Ryan did the electrical (because he knows how), the baseboards (because it was faster for him to just do it than to show me how) and put together the newly-bought furniture (because I think he actually likes doing that kind of thing).

I moved in what was absolutely necessary and now I have my VERY OWN HOME OFFICE!

I've been waiting a couple of months to write this post because the one thing I haven't finished yet is to put art on one wall. There's art over the futon, but not over my desk. I've planned out what to put there, but I just haven't had time to do it yet.

But without further ado, here is my before and after look:

Right before I took these before pictures, I thought about cleaning up the room first and then thought "why, it looks like this most of the time anyway".

The built-in shelves were always, always, always a disaster of stuff -- 90% of which we didn't even need!

During.....

....and after. Over my desk is where I'm going to hang the last of the art. Mainly so I'm not staring at a blank wall all the time.

The guest bed. To be able to pull it out, I have to move my desk chair out of the way.

And finally...the built-in bookcases. Painted with a bit of contrast and only holding the stuff we need -- well mostly. What the heck am I supposed to do with all those CDs that no one listens to anymore?

Be careful what you wish for

2011-06-09T22:19:00.000-04:00

I haven't worked in over a month. That's just the way life is when you're a contract worker. Contracts come whenever they come. And often, no matter how often you stay on top of keeping in touch with your contacts, there's no work to be had.

Until there is.

For about six weeks now, I've been trying not to be anxious about not working. Trying to enjoy my days with the kids and enjoy the fact that I had a little spare time to do other things -- like blog and scrapbook and plant my garden (and of course, all the typical day to day chores). I say try because when I'm not working, I feel a little anxious about it, and when I am working I'll start to feel guilty for not spending enough time with the kids (double-edge sword, I know.).

So here's hoping that my last six weeks of trying to not be anxious and enjoying my time with the kids will pay off. Today, I picked up not one, but two contracts. One's a big one that will be a fair bit of work and is due in early to mid-July. The other is a smaller, proofreading job that is also due in early to mid-July. Oh yeah, and then there's the third contract that is sitting on the horizon that I've been asked to quote on. It's a big one -- a proofreading instead of a writing job but still a 400-page proofreading job.

All three in one day. I went from no work to a hell of a lot of work in one day. So don't be surprised if you hear from me only sparingly in the next month and a half.

Seriously, a few weeks ago I was wishing for more work. I've really got to be more careful what I wish for!

Wordless Wednesday -- Water slide!

2011-06-08T14:34:00.001-04:00

Hot is the word of the day today. It's really, really hot out there. So after Alex and I picked up Austin at school, they put their bathing suits on and played in the sprinkler for the first time this year. And managed to move the sprinkler around the yard until they discovered that they could turn the climber into a water slide!

Find more of this week's Wordless Wednesday (or Wordful) posts at 5 Minutes for Mom.

The end of the world as I know it

2011-06-07T15:31:00.000-04:00

My world is coming to an end. Alex is giving up napping.

I know I shouldn't be surprised, she's over 3 years old and many kids give them up way earlier, but just because I'm not surprised doesn't mean I have to be happy about it.

Nap time routine has been a part of my life for pretty much 5 years. Because even after Austin gave up his nap 2 years ago, Alex still napped. And since she napped, I could convince him to go into his room most days and 'rest'. Sometimes he'd read books, sometimes he'd play, sometimes he'd even lie down. Heck, to be perfectly honest, he's 5 years old and I still make him go into his room most days to play quietly for a little while. Partly because the downtime is good for him and mostly because that means I get 30 minutes of peace and quiet every afternoon.

The routine for the last two years has been this: Alex lies down for a nap, Austin and I play quietly for a little while and then he goes into his room to play by himself while I do some work or play around on the computer if there's no work to be done. It's my time (or my clients' time).

But now, she's going into her room -- and more days than not, not sleeping. And the days she does fall asleep is usually because I threatened her to do so. (The other day, I knew we were going to be out late so I told her if she didn't nap, we weren't going. Needless to say, she slept.) But overall, she typically only sleeps 3 days a week if I'm lucky. The other 4 days she lies in her bed and complains that she doesn't want to sleep. And so I eventually cave and tell her to get up and play quietly in her room. She does for awhile and then she'll open her door and yell "can I get up yet?".

The plus side is it's happening at a time when the kids are old enough to play on their own together and therefore don't need me to constantly entertain them all day long. Many days after lunch, they go off and play and I've gone down to my office to get some work done. They don't need me, so I try not to 'need' them. It's not exactly peace and quiet, but it's still a little bit of time to myself.

Of course, the problem with the end of nap time is always the same -- she may not be tired at 2 p.m., but she sure as hell is a miserable wreck by 7 p.m. without one.

But as the end of nap time draws near -- just in time for school to let out -- I'm going to have to relook and rework how I balance my stay-at-home, work-from-home life. Because now, I'm going to have 2 kids all day for 2 months and no one is going to want to stop to sleep.

Well, except maybe me.

Ok, I finally admit that I need glasses

2011-05-30T21:45:00.001-04:00

Three years ago, I had my eyes checked for the first time in about 10 years. Why I had never bothered to go before was...well...simply laziness. I could see just fine, so why spend money for a doctor to tell me that.

But three years ago, I started to notice that I was having trouble seeing (actually, it was when I was trying to take pictures with our digital SLR camera and couldn't figure out why I couldn't get the camera to focus). So I went to the optometrist and sure enough, I needed glasses. I no longer had 20/20 vision.

At that time, I was eight and a half months pregnant and had a two-year-old at home. I just didn't have the time, or the patience, to deal with needing glasses. So I picked a pair that would do from the optometrist's office and was done with it.

And rarely wore them.

Until awhile later, I realized that driving at night was easier with glasses. And then, driving when it was cloudy was easier with glasses. And then watching TV upstairs on the smaller TV was easier with glasses. And then watching TV downstairs was easier with glasses (well at least if I wanted to actually enjoy watching HDTV). And then, driving in general was easier with glasses. And live sporting events and concerts and movies and....

Until very recently, I realized that life in general was easier to see with glasses on. And here's where the problem lay -- I still didn't want to wear them. Why? It's not because I was ashamed, or anything like that, to wear glasses. It's just that I finally realized that the glasses I picked out in a hurry three years earlier weren't all that nice.

In fact, I didn't really like them at all.

And if I didn't like them, I didn't like the way I looked when I wore them. So I didn't wear them.

Except now life was a little blurry.

So after months of procrastinating, I finally went to buy new glasses (and prescription sunglasses too). And now, I actually wear them. I wear them to drive, I wear them to watch TV, I wear them to sporting events, on the subway and to walk Austin to school in the morning. I wear them pretty much any time I'm not just hanging around the house (because really, what's there to see there that I haven't already seen!).

And I don't know why I never bought prescription sunglasses before. I'm so used to the world being blurry when I wear sunglasses that I forgot that it's not always like that!

So here's the new me. Next time you see me, I'll probably be wearing glasses.

Kids say the darndest things

2011-05-27T15:59:00.001-04:00

Austin is full of questions these days. I thought the why stage at age 3 was bad. This is even worse. He has a question for everything. What are these buttons for? Why is the road two different colours? Why are the street lights still on in the daytime? And so on and so on and so on.

But sometimes, he asks honest to goodness questions. Questions that don't drive me crazy.

The other day, he asked me about banks. We were in the car and I told the kids I had to stop at the bank,deposit a cheque and take out some money. The conversation went like this:

Austin: What's a cheque?

Me: It's money. When people pay me for writing, they use a cheque and then I put it in the bank.

Austin: But why do you put money in the bank, you're supposed to get money from the bank.(In the kids' eyes, you need money, you go to the bank machine, it gives you money. Easy as that.)

Me: (proceeding to explain how banks work by telling him that everyone at the bank has a different number and when I want to put money in, I put it into that number and when I need to take it out, I take it from that number. And I can only take out as much money as I have in the bank. So, I then said (because Austin knows basic math)....)Austin, if I had $10 in the bank and I want to buy something that's $20, can I do it?

Austin: No, you need 10 more dollars.

Me: That's right.

Austin: (Thinking for minute). Mommy, I think you need to work more so that we have more money.

Me: (Trying not to laugh out loud) Why?

Austin: So you can buy me more things.

A matter of national security

2011-05-16T16:04:00.000-04:00

When we packed to go to Florida (which is where we were last week), we packed way smarter than when we went to Texas last fall. Last fall, we had it in our heads that less is more -- meaning the fewer things you have to carry, the better.

A good theory, really. And one that should be practiced when travelling. But when you decide to use just two suitcases between four people -- so that there's less to cart around airports -- don't forget that the damn airlines will charge you an extra arm and a leg for going a mere ounce overweight. So, when we flew home from Texas, one of our bags was too heavy and we had to pay an extra $50 on top of the $25 per bag you had to pay when you checked in (again, damn U.S. airlines charging bag fees at check-in.)

So, with this trip, we decided that we would take three suitcases -- two big and one small. And then, we had the brilliant brainwave. We realized, that since we weren't just going to Florida, we were going to Disney World, there would likely be a lot of 'stuff' on the return trip home. Afterall, we were going with grandparents -- and they like to buy things for the kids. A lot of things.

And of course, mom and dad wanted to hit the outlet malls too.

So this brainwave was simple -- pack an empty duffelbag into one of the suitcases. It doesn't cost anything to bring it back full because we're four people, meaning we're allowed to have four checked bags.

And sure enough, having an extra bag was a briliant idea Because we needed it. We had toys, we had dolls, we had Mickey clothes, we had two new pairs of adult shoes each and a bunch of other clothes from the outlet malls.

So, when we were packing up, we used the duffel bag to throw all our dirty laundry in. Then everything else -- the toys, the dolls, the new clothes and shoes, the unworn clothes -- went into the other suitcases. And we balanced the weight almost perfectly.

And when we got home, we unpacked and discovered this in our laundry duffel bag:

Our bag was searched. I'm sure it was random or something. But it's much funnier to think that our dirty laundry is a matter of national security.

Five misconceptions my kids have about me

2011-05-08T03:25:00.003-04:00

Recently, it dawned on me that at the ages of 3 and 5, my kids have certain misconceptions about me. So, in honour of Mother's Day, here are five things my kids think they know:

1) My kids think I can sing. Both my kids love singing (and dancing to) kids songs. Learning through song is a big part of how kids grow up, and I find myself singing to them a lot. The other day, I was trying to wake my daughter up by singing our good morning song, when she opened her eyes, smiled and said "again". And I sang it again. It dawned on me, that she thinks I can sing. When in all honesty, I can barely carry a tune. Although how hard is it, really, to carry a tune when the extent of your repetoire is ABC and Wheels on the Bus? I wonder how many more years it'll be before they realize I can't really sing?

2) My kids think I'm crafty. Let me put it very simply. I'm not. Over the years, I've learned how to do simple kids crafts with the help of my dear friend the Internet. 19 times out of 20, a craft we do together was someone else's idea. I just followed their directions.

3) My kids think I know everything. They have questions for everything. I have answers. The relationship is as simple as that. Although at least half the time, I'm talking out of my ass.

4) My kids think that on the mornings they're both at school (2 mornings a week Alex is in preschool and 5 mornings a week, Austin is in Kindergarten), I'm sad all by myself. It takes a lot of willpower every time one of them says that to not tell them that what I do when they're gone is the happy dance.

5) My kids think I'm supermom. Well, at least they get one right.

Happy Mother's Day to all the mom's out there.

Running right down the middle of Yonge Street

2011-05-02T07:17:00.001-04:00

I did it. I accomplished my third 10K run in less than two years, finishing with my best time yet -- by far. 1:09:37.4. That's 69 minutes! I was targetting a 70-minute finish, so let me tell you, right about now, I'm pretty proud of myself.

It was an amazing running experience -- and a very different one from running at the zoo. At the Zoo Run 10K, the number of runners is capped around 2,500. Here, it's not. So there were more than 12,000 runners, running down Yonge Street.

At the zoo, after the first kilometre or so, the pack spreads out and you're pretty much on your own -- well at least you are when you're nearer to the back of the pack. At the Sporting Life run, you are always amongst the pack. It is simply a sea of people running straight down Yonge Street -- from north of Eglinton to Richmond, and then across Richmond and over to Fort York to the finish line.

And yet, it was such a rush. So much so that in a way, it seems like a bit of a blur to me. I just ran. And waved to Ryan and the kids who were cheering me on around the 1K mark. And found some friends standing around 3K hoping to catch a glimpse of me (and they did because I started smiling and waving madly). And looked around at the stores as I went by. And looked down and realized, "hey, I'm running right along the yellow centre line -- and I'm at Yonge and Dundas!"

And before I knew it, I was passing Yonge and Bloor and passing Yonge and Dundas and passing the Scotiabank Theatre on Richmond. I was just running. And enjoying every minute of it.

I felt like I was flying. I had no idea how fast I was going, but it felt faster than I'd ever gone before (and it was!). I messaged Ryan as I stopped to walk around 4K and then again around 7K so that he'd know where I was. He and the kids wanted to see me near the finish line, but it's a little more complicated with this race than at the zoo which is contained in a small space.

When I messaged him, I had no idea how long I'd be running, but it didn't feel like it had been very long.

And then, I was there. I could see the finish line, Ryan and the kids were yelling "Go mommy go" and I found a new speed I didn't know I had.

It felt incredible. And, I have to admit, although I complained about having to get up early (I was up at 5:45 a.m.), drag the kids out of bed (we got them up at 6:30 a.m.) and get my butt to Yonge and Eglinton before 8 a.m. on a Sunday, I may just consider doing this run one more time next year.

But first up is the Zoo run one more time this fall. Austin wants to do the kid 500 metre run that follows the 10K, so I figure if we're going to go for that -- I might as well run another 10K.

Please no rain, please no rain, please no rain

2011-04-29T15:32:00.000-04:00

Sunday is my third 10K race. I've been wanting to do this particular one pretty much since I crossed the finish line of my first 10K race in October 2009. (Damn crutches having got in my way last spring).

I'm excited. I'm ready. I can do it. I even think I can do it faster than I did the Zoo Run in October 2010. But please, please, please weather Gods, don't let it rain. Because right now, Sunday is calling for a 70% chance of showers all day.

It's not that I can't run in the rain. I've done it. It's not that bad -- but it's not that pleasant either. Especially when a light rain turns into short downpour. Then it's just downright unpleasant. And since Ryan and the kids are getting out of bed to watch me (it's a 8 a.m. start), they might grumble if they have to get out of bed just to stand in the rain for an hour and a half.

I don't care what the rest of the day does -- but maybe, just maybe, between 7:30 a.m. and 9:30 a.m. Sunday morning, you could all ask the rain to stay away. Or at least stay away from Yonge Street.

I'm going to Disney World!

2011-04-25T22:11:00.000-04:00

I may be in my thirties, but I'm not embarrased to admit that I fall into that category of honestly believing that Disney world is the happiest place on earth.

Of course, I know there's many other places to visit in this world, and I've been fortunate enough to visit some of them over the years...but Disney World is well, Disney world!

We booked the trip in early March - a really good deal that my dad found in the paper (and we're going with my parents) - but until yesterday, I've had to be quietly excited. And have had to quietly go about planning and reading up. Because the kids didn't know.

Yesterday we told the kids. They were quite muted in their excitement at first. Not because they don't know what Disney World is - because ironically, right after we booked the trip, Playhouse Disney (the TV channel they watch all the time) started showing commercials for Disney World and the kids' mouths would drop open and they'd start asking if we could go. I think they we're a little muted because they were in shock.

After about 5 minutes of Austin asking a million and one questions (when are we going? how long are we staying for? Where are we staying? How are we getting there?), he got up and danced out of the room while singing "We're going to Disney World! We're going to Disney World!"

The excitement really sunk in for both of them this morning, as they asked me another million and one questions over breakfast about what there is to do there. And every now and then throughout the day, one of them would break into song about how "we're going to Disney World!".

I'm excited. I'm really, really excited. It's been 14 years since I was there -- more than 20 years since Ryan was last there.

And even though my kids are the ones who are the kids, somehow, just the thought of going makes me feel like a kid again.

A Mickey Mouse birthday

2011-04-12T20:57:00.000-04:00

This past weekend was Alex's birthday, and once again I created a cake for her.

Or actually, cupcakes.

Deciding what to do this year was difficult. The idea for Mickey cupcakes was actually tossed around a few months ago and then forgotten about. So as her birthday was approaching, I fretted about what to do. Having been sick for much of the week and a half before her party, the idea of doing a big cake was daunting. Yet, the only thing I could think of was to create a Belle cake (from Beauty and the Beast) because she recently developed an obsession with her.

So two days before her birthday, at 7:30 p.m., I headed over toBulk arn to see if I could get a cake pan and Barbie torso to make a Belle cake. And while I'm standing there in the store, I realize that I could do Mickey Mouse cupcakes instead. Afterall, she may be obssessed with Belle right now, but she LOVES Mickey. No characters in the world are better than Mickey and Minnie.

So now I'm standing in the store with an idea, and no idea how to go about making them. So I called Ryan and he Googled it. And together we came up with a great idea:

This website was what came up when Ryan Googled 'Mickey cupcakes' and they were really easy to make. All I had to do was ice the cupcake, dip it in Oreo cookie crumbs until all of the icing was covered and then using toothpicks, I stuck on two Oreo cookies for ears. Finally, to top it off, I added two little white dots (I used labelling stickers, but you could use chads from a hole punch too) to the front of the cupcake liner.

Ta da. Mickey Mouse cupcakes.

But why, do you ask, does that picture have one Mickey and one that looks like it could be Minnie without a bow? Because, at first, I made chocolate cupcakes in plain white liners. You see, Alex wanted chocolate cake, of course. I figured, after they were baked, I could slip the red liner on top to make the Mickey cupcakes.

It was a great plan, except for one small problem. The red liners were bigger than the white ones I had used to make the cupcakes. Oops.

So I had to make another batch of cupcakes -- this time using white cake in the red liners. But since Alex really wanted chocolate cake, I slipped a polka dot liner (which thankfully fit) on half a dozen of the chocolate ones to create Minnie cupcakes.

Which meant, on birthday party day, Alex just wanted one of each. And what the birthday girl wants, the birthday girl gets.

It's just like Christmas all over again...

2011-04-07T21:55:00.000-04:00

...but not in the fun way where you get lots of presents and eat lots of yummy food. Instead, more like the way we spent this past Christmas.

A week and a half ago, Austin came down with a flu - fever of 102F or so for 3 days. He stayed home from school and was all around miserable. When the fever cleared, he was left with a knock-you-on-your-ass kind of cold.

By last Friday night Alex was running a fever. By Saturday morning, I was. For Alex, the fever lasted on and off for 5 days. She never really got knocked out with it - well until she got the knock-you-on-your-ass cold.

Me, I couldn't get out of bed for the first day of the flu and was barely functional for the next two days of the fever. And on the fourth day, I got 'the cold' - which, lucky for me, also turned into a chest infection.

And just when we thought we were in the clear, Ryan's gone down. He barely made it out of bed today. Friday is not looking promising.

Something tells me this family needs a lot of vitamin C in a hurry. Either that, or some nice summer-like weather.

A first I could've done without

2011-03-26T10:14:00.001-04:00

Earlier this week, I got my very first speeding ticket.

Yup. A speeding ticket.

It was Tuesday morning, and I was driving downtown to see Ryan (yes, hon, you may not have been driving but you're still getting some of the blame for this too, Because if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have been anywhere near that intersection.) I had just dropped Austin off at school and now I had to go see Ryan because he needed his Blackberry which he had left on the couch at home.

I was a block from his office -- coming over the bridge on Gerrard St. E. (just before Broadview). I wasn't going that fast. 56 km/h actually, according to the cop that pulled me over at the speed trap.

The problem? Gerrard is a 40 zone. So yes, that would be 16 km/h over, not exactly a cheap speeding ticket. I was honest with the cop when he came to my window -- when he said that I was doing 56 in a 40 zone, I told him I didn't realize it was a 40 zone (Seriously, why is it only a 40 zone there?). I don't know if that made a difference, but he knocked my ticket down to doing only 5 over the speed limit. So in the end, my little misadventure cost $27.50.

And the inability to never again say that I haven't had a speeding ticket.

Dear Spring, Where did you go?

2011-03-23T15:31:00.000-04:00

Honestly, the kids were riding their bikes on the driveway just yesterday.

St. Paddy's Day....mommy style

2011-03-17T20:49:00.001-04:00

Green beer for mommy. Green apple juice for the kids.

Chicken nuggets and fries for dinner alla pub fare. Something has definitely changed over the years.

Cheers!

The soother fairy

2011-03-17T15:31:00.002-04:00

I've been seriously promoting the soother fairy lately. What's the soother fairy you ask? It's the magical fairy that you give all your soothers to. This 'fairy' in return gives the soothers to other babies and leaves you a fancy dancy present to say thank you.

Yes, I know, it's really a suped-up bribe.

Alex is going to be 3 in a few weeks and I'd really love for her to give up her soothers. She only uses her soother to sleep -- so at nap (when she does nap) and at bedtime -- but she's religious about it. She will not sleep unless she has one. And if she wakes up in the middle of the night and can't find one (and yes, there's usually 2 or 3 within arms reatch at all times), guess who she calls to come and fix that situation?

Thankfully, sleeping is the only time she has it. With the exception of when she had the stomach flu a few weeks ago, it never leaves her bedroom (well, unless of course, sleeping is going to be happening somewhere other than the house, like in the car or on the plane (when we flew to Texas)). And she's very good about that; she knows the soother rules.

But it really is time for it to go. We never had this problem with Austin because, although he did take a soother as an infant, he gave it up on his own around 7 or 8 months. I'd put it in his mouth and he'd spit it back out. And that was that.

Alex on the other hand, got very very very attached to it.

In chatting with other friends with soother-addicted children, I've learned that the soother fairy is the way to go. In other words, convince your child that they're doing a good thing by giving their soothers to babies who don't have any; babies who would be very sad without one; get a present in return and then be a "BIG GIRL"!

But so far, the convincing of how wonderful the soother fairy is with Alex has gone something like this:

Me: So we're going to give your soothers to the soother fairy soon, right?
Alex: Yeah, and my going to be a big girl.
Me: That's right, the soother fairy will take your soothers and leave you a present.
Alex: My no want to give my soothers to the soothers fairies.
Me: But you're a big girl now.
Alex: No my not. (Thinks for a minute). But my still want a present.

Clearly she's put some thought into how to get around this system.

Time to run again

2011-03-10T10:23:00.000-05:00

I need to start running again.

Unlike last winter (when I stupidly sprained my ankle and ended up on crutches), I didn't actually stop running all together. But I haven't exactly been hitting the gym often enough to make a real effort either.

Winter is hard for that. I really don't like running on a treadmill. I wouldn't come right out and say I hate it -- because it does have a few minor advantages, such as managing my speed and pushing myself to go faster. It's easy to do when all you have to do is set the speed and run at that speed. If you slow down, you fall off.

But other than that, treadmill running is boring. Even with music on, it's boring. There's nothing to look at but myself in the mirror or other people working out. And that gets boring quick. And when I get bored, I get tired. And when I get tired, it's very difficult to convince myself to go on.

When I get tired while running along the sidewalk, I find something to distract me -- flower gardens, houses, cars, whatever is around to look at is more interesting than looking at yourself in the mirror.

So needless to say, I haven't run all that much this winter. But when I have, I've managed to stay at a steady 5 to 6 km effort. (And hey, I've done it a little bit faster each time!)

But this May (May 1 to be exact) I really want to run in the Sporting Life 10K down Yonge St. I wanted to run in it last year, but being on crutches for much of January kinda killed any illusions that I could do it. But I really want to do that run this year. It just sounds like fun -- running straight down Yonge Street with 12,000 other people.

So, although I haven't yet signed up, I've decided to start commiting to training again. That means getting out and running twice a week, and by April, 3 times a week. I'd like to run it faster than 74 minutes (my time at the Zoo Run last October), but really, I just want to run it.

So here's hoping the weather starts to improve soon so that I can once again go back to running outside. Because knowing me, if I run outside before the ice, slush and muck is gone, I'll manage to slip, fall and end up on crutches again.

My Mom Inc. life

2011-03-03T17:03:00.002-05:00

I wrote this post a few weeks ago, but readiing Shell's Pour Your Heart Out on Things I can't Say this morning inspired me to link it up.

The other day, there was an article in the Toronto Star about a new book called Mom Inc. by Amy Ballon and Danielle Bottrell. The title is pretty self-explanatory -- it's all about mompreneurs.

I think I need to buy this. Just to see what they have to say.

I started my 'business' with the thoughts "hey, I know how to write so, um, maybe when I'm at home with the kids, I'll pick up a little writing in my spare time'. Now, almost two years later, life has turned out way better than I could've ever imagined. I love working for myself, building my little business and making a name for myself. I've gone from having just a couple of clients who called on me to write for them to having about half a dozen people (maybe even more) who call on me on a semi-regular basis to produce copy. I've made connections and it's just spiralled (and continues to do so) from there.

But along with life turning out way better than I could've ever imagined, it's also turned out way busier than I could've ever imagined. Working night after night after the kids go to bed is exhausting. Working on weekends when I could be hanging out with my family or doing things around the house, or heck, even relaxing for a change, is frustrating. Working in the afternoons while the kids are sleeping/resting or while they're watching TV is guilt-inducing.

So to sum it up, being a mompreneur is exhilarating and exhausting. There just isn't enough hours in my day to write, liaise with clients, play with the kids, ferry the kids to and from school and to and from activities and then, at the end of it all, have a little time to myself. Thankfully, the nature of what I do is contract work. Meaning at times I'm so busy that I need 26 hours (at least) in every day, just so that I can catch a few hours a sleep and then there are times when there's absolutely nothing going on and I have time to have a life and catch up on everything else (like my blog).

This isn't a post looking for a shoulder to cry on. We all have our lives busy to the max -- whether you work in an office while the kids are at daycare or you work at home while the kids fight around your ankles -- there just isn't enough time for everything when you have two kids under the age of 6. You work (maybe you even go to school too) and you want to have a life in there somewhere.

It'll get easier as time goes on -- and it'll get harder. The kids will get older and both be in school (although that's another post for another day that I'm kicking around in my head right now. And that post will actually be completely contrary to everything I'm writing about now...but anyway) and I'll actually have 6 hours a day to work -- instead of just an hour and a half if I'm lucky. That'll mean more working during regular business hours and less working at 10 p.m. It'll get harder, because then, more will be expected of me. Having 6 hours a day to work is great when I have work. But what will I do when I don't have any contracts on the go?

I'm done rambling about my Mom Inc. life. I'll leave with a comment from the article I read -- a comment that inspired me to ramble about my mompreneurship world and that made me laugh out loud at how true it is:

"You’re never more popular with your kids than when your work phone rings."

Another year, another birthday cake

2011-03-03T14:43:00.000-05:00

Once again this year, I created a birthday cake for Austin's birthday party.

To be honest, I'm not really sure what possesses me to do such things. I've written before about how I'm not overly crafty - I never really have been. But over the last few years,I've somehow been compelled to start doing craftier things. My abilities are limited but there are a few things I enjoy doing. Crafting with the kids is one of them (if you can call that crafting, it's really just construction paper, random stuff from around my house or the dollar store, markers and white glue), painting rooms (I've enjoyed that for awhile), scrapbooking (when I can find a free evening to do so) and making cakes (or other kitchen goodies).

So this year's cake, as you can see from the picture, put his age front and centre. After all, 5 is a big number -- it's a whole hand old! I got the idea by doing a Google search for birthday cakes and among the pictures that came up was one of the number 10. And I thought "I could do that but with a 5".

The idea to put a road and the Cars characters on it was an after thought -- when I happened to see those cake toppers at Bulk Barn a few days before Austin's birthday.

Making the cake was actually fairly easy -- a lot easier than the character cakes I've made in the past. I baked two 9x13 cakes and once they cooled I cut the number 5 out of one, iced the bottom one and then stuck the top one to the bottom one. Pretty simple -- although I screwed up icing the bottom one the first time around (too many crumbs) so to solve the problem I made another batch of icing and re-iced it. So we ended up with a double-iced cake with a iced cake on top!

All in all it went over well. Although, when you make a cake that is really two cakes, there's a lot of leftovers.

Next up, what to do for Alex's birthday cake this year.

My mom fail moment

2011-02-26T16:08:00.000-05:00

Anyone who knows Alex knows that she's never had much hair. She was 2 before I could even attempt putting teeny tiny elastics in. And now, at almost 3, she has enough hair for a small ponytail.

The lack of hair is not because we've been cutting it short. In fact, recently, someone asked me how old she was when she first had a haircut. My answer? Um....never. Which is not entirely true -- she's had her bangs cut by me 4 times since her second birthday.

And this is where my mom fail moment comes in. (Side note to my mom, I think you know where this story is going...because you've been there.)

Last night, after her bath, I decided she needed her bangs cut again. They were long and stragly and she was constantly sweeping them out of her eyes. So out came the scissors.

A minute or so later, her bangs were cut -- not quite straight and a little too short. Ok, a lot too short. I'd done it three other times over the last year, but this time, I failed. Quite badly.

Maybe I can get some barrettes and clip her bangs back every morning until they grow out a bit. (Yeah, like she'll leave those in all day long.)

Or maybe I should just take her to the hairdresser for a proper haircut.

A rhetorical question

2011-02-24T10:13:00.000-05:00

When did this:

become this:

It's a rhetorical question because I know the answer is over the last 5 years. But seriously? Five? When did that happen? How did that happen?

Happy Birthday to my 5-year-old!

Wordless Wednesday: How many more months 'til summer?

2011-02-02T14:48:00.001-05:00

On the first school snow day in Toronto in 12 years (and this is not the time or place to debate whether there's really enough snow out there to merit a snow day), I figure this is the perfect opportunity to remember (or dream of) summer. This was the kids, last July, playing in the wading pool.

And on that note, I must go shovel the driveway again.

(At least the kids are having fun playing in the snow.)

'I can do it myself'

2011-01-31T17:41:00.001-05:00

Alex is way more independent than Austin has ever been. Don't get me wrong, Austin is very much a do-it-himself kind of kid. But Alex, just takes that attitude and takes it to the next level.

To date, everything she has learned to do by herself, she has learned to do earlier than Austin -- for the sole reason that Austin can already do it. I mean, she learned to walk at 10 months mainly because Austin could get up and run out of a room and she wanted to be able to do the same thing.

So last fall, she learned how to dress herself. As early as September (so before she was even 2 and a half), I have been able to tell her to go get dressed. And she does. And she does with such gutso that she doesn't want anyone to help her.

This results in two things. The first is that her clothes don't always match. At first, I had an issue with this. I'd drag her back to her room to change a shirt or a pair of pants because the thought of her going out with pink pants and a red shirt was embarassing. And then it suddenly dawned on me -- why? Why bother? Why fight her about it.

So I pick the fights that matter. Like the time in early October she insisted on wearing a summer dress and sandals. So as a compromise, I made her wear a t-shirt and leggings undernearth. And socks. Hence, we had this look as we took Austin to school:

It's not bad really. And honestly, who is she hurting. So I let it go. Some days it's dresses, some days it's rainboots when it's sunny outside. Whatever.

Lately, it's backward shirts. You see, she puts her own shirts on, but sometimes it goes on with the print on her front, and other times it goes on with the print on her back. The fun part of this is that she knows she's doing it. She almost does it on pupose. She comes running out of her room now, a big grin on her face and says to me "mommy, it's backwards day!" And for the rest of the day, regardless of where we go, she looks like this:

I've had some funny looks from people. And some people have actually come up to me when we're out and say "you know her shirt is on backwards". Yup, I always answer....and she's so damn proud of it.

A squish on your basement carpet is never a good thing

2011-01-19T16:53:00.003-05:00

Tuesday was a balmy 4C outside. And when I was leaving my house at 8:30 a.m. with the kids, I heard a strange sound. But being in a rush, I didn't think much of it.

At 12:30, when the kids and I returned home for lunch, I again heard this sound. And again, I didn't think much of it. After all, I had two hungry mouths to feed.

So we went inside, I quickly slapped together some peanut butter and jam sandwiches for the kids and then ran downstairs to get more milk out of the basement fridge. And when I stepped off the bottom step onto the carpeted basement floor, my foot went squish.

And so I took another step. And it too went squish.

And it suddenly dawned on me what that strange sound was. A tap. A tap turned on all the way. I ran outside and discovered that the tap that was turned on all the way was my neighbour's. And in between his tap and my house was a huge lake.

I turned his tap off, swore a couple a dozen times and went back down to my basement. Squish, squish, squish with each step I took. The water wasn't coming from the wall next to the stairs as I first thought because the deeper into the basement I walked, the more my feet squished.And so I opened the door to the closet under the stairs and found where the water was coming from. There was about an inch of water in there. What didn't fit, had spilled out across the basement.

By this point, the kids had wandered downstairs to see what all the swearing was for. Here's Alex standing in our closet under the stairs (taken in case we need photos for insurance).
Now that's a lot of water! In a place that shoudn't have any water.The first thing I did was shoo the kids back upstairs. The next thing I did was call Ryan at work. I followed his "Hello" with "We have water. A lot of water."

He was able to come home about an hour and a half later and by that time I had managed to get everything out of the closet and use our little wet vac to suck out the pool of water. It's a big closet -- we joke that it's our Harry Potter closet because it really is big enough to put a bed in (at least big enough for a toddler bed). There was a lot of stuff in there (unfortunately) but (fortunately) most of it is in Rubbermaid bins. Ryan's comic book collection was in there -- but fortunately for him (or maybe that's unfortunately for me) the carboard boxes they were in were wet on the outside but still dry on the inside.

Once Ryan got home, he decided that our little wet vac couldn't cut this mess and he went to Home Depot to rent an industrial one.

Six hours and about 80 litres of water later, the carpet was still wet, very wet, but at least it didn't squish when we walked on it.

Now we've ripped up two ends of the carpet and have two carpet blowers trying to dry it out. Only then will we be able to figure out if anything been damaged.

As for my neighbours, we knocked on their door and they came over to chat with us about it. They felt horrible and have offered to pay for any damages. They don't know how the tap ended up on -- it was probably left on by accident and was frozen until yesterday morning.

And what's left is this: the entire contents of my storage closet is spread out across my basement, my carpet is ripped up in two places, it sounds like a wind tunnel in here with the fans and oh yeah, there's a tiny crack somewhere in my foundation that lets water in. Fun times.

The first rule of book club...

2011-01-13T15:32:00.003-05:00

...don't talk about book club.

I have just a few followers who will 'get' this statement but I had to use it anyway.

Years ago, when we were young and didn't yet have kids (and therefore had much more time on our hands than we do now), a group of us girls formed a book club. It was a book club in the loosest of terms. We'd pick a book that we'd all read, and most of us would read most of it.

Then we'd get together for a potluck at someone's house, talk about the book -- for sometimes no more than 5 minutes, but longer if it was a good book -- and then we'd sit around, gossip, eat, drink (sometimes too much) and just have a good time.

Then we'd repeat. So really, it was an excuse for a girls night.

I don't remember how many books we read -- or even how many years we met for -- but we read some good books in our book club days. Time Travellers' Wife, In her Shoes, Oryx and Crake, Skinny Legs and All that. And some not so good books. (What were we thinking when we chose Anna Karinina!)

The don't talk about book club line actually came from one of our spouses. He didn't want to hear us talking about books when we weren't at book club (which a few of us would often do).

But over time, our time for book club became less and less, in that we all had less and less time to get together, and they eventually just petered out.

But I've always loved reading. Before we first got together, during the time we did book club, and since then, reading is something I've always loved to do. I don't get as much time to do it as I used to (gee, I wonder why?) and reading is usually restricted to the 20 minutes or so before I go to sleep every night.

I have bookcases full of books -- many of them read that I can't bear to part with and others that I haven't yet got to.

So here's my 2011 reading challenge -- to read as many of the ones I haven't got to as I can without buying anymore new books. You see, that's why I have so many I haven't yet read -- because I'm a sucker for bookstores, especially used bookstores. Some girls can't walk by a shoe store without going in; well I can't walk by a used book store without going in and buying four or five books. The hardest part of this reading challenge will be the fact that on my new ipad, I downloaded the Kobo reader app -- and I'm just dying to buy an ebook and try it out (and I might just have to bend my rule for that, afterall, it's not technically buying a book that will sit on my shelf.)

I started a new feature on the side of this blog a few weeks ago -- links to books I've read and to the book (or books) I'm reading now. The books I've read section is not complete, in the sense that I can't be bothered to go through my actual bookshelf and post it all on my virtual one. But it has much of what I read in 2010 and it'll have all that I read in 2011.

When I finish a book, I'll post a brief review -- nothing fancy, just a few lines. I'll keep it short and sweet, just like we did in our book club days. It's my way of having my own little book club with anyone who feels like checking it out. And if no one checks it out, well, it's still my own little book club.

And if any of my old book club friends reading this ever want to start book club again, you know where to find me. And then I'll promise not to break the first rule of book club anymore.

Wordless Wednesday: sleigh ride to school

2011-01-12T10:10:00.008-05:00

(Well almost wordless -- it's hard for the writer in me to be wordless!) What was supposed to be just a couple of centimetres of snow overnight turned into at least 10 cm up by my house. So this was Alex's chariot so that we could take Austin to school this morning. (I actually took this photo near the school, where a little shovelling had been done. The rest of the walk was through unploughed sidewalks and across unploughed streets.)

The sled made getting through the snow almost easy -- except when Austin got tired of trudging through the snow and wanted to ride. Then, I was pulling 75 pounds through the snow. Let's just say I won't need to go to the gym if this keeps up.

So that's what a quiet house sounds like

2011-01-11T15:24:00.004-05:00

Here was this morning's routine: Alex and I dropped Austin off at school as usual and then I dropped Alex off for her first day of preschool and then I came home. And spent almost two hours here all by myself.

It was weird, it was wonderful, it went by way too fast.

This is the first time I've been in a kid-free house on a weekday in almost three years. (With the exception of the days someone would come visit and then take the kids to the park, or something like that, while I got some work done for 45 minutes.)

Three years. Well almost. I was pregnant with Alex the last time I had the house to myself on a weekday. Austin was still going to daycare and I was already on maternity leave. But my pre-baby time off only lasted a few days -- she was born five days after I finished work (and those five days include a weekend.)

Oddly enough, there are a million things I could've done to relax during this time to myself, but instead, I sat at my computer and got some work done. Boring, I know, but actually very productive and liberating. You have no idea how much you can accomplish when you're not listening to kids bang around upstairs while pretending to sleep.

I got everything I needed to do for the day done in that hour and 45 minutes, meaning this afternoon, instead of stressing about getting work done, I have a little time to do things like blog.

The best part is this isn't a one-time deal -- preschool is twice a week, for two hours a day for the next nine weeks (and then I hope to get her into the next session.) (By the way, she seemed to really enjoy it and I was told she only cried once -- when it was clean up time. Although I must admit, as I watched her through the window just prior to pickup I realized I can't believe my little girl is old enough to go to preschool -- but that's a post for another day.) Sometimes I'll work; sometimes I'll go for a short run; sometimes I'll shop (although most stores don't open until 10 so there isn't much time for that); sometimes I'll do the groceries. Even that thought is oddly liberating right now -- the idea of doing groceries without kids tagging along is something I barely remember how to do.

And maybe, just maybe, once in awhile I'll remember to use the two hours to come home, make a cup of tea and curl up with a good book.

A perfect day

2011-01-10T14:36:00.003-05:00

I turned the big 35 this past weekend. I've been dreading it for awhile -- not so much the day, but the age. Big number and all that.

But this post isn't about the issues I'm having with now being 35. It's about the perfect day.

Having your birthday fall on a Saturday is always a nice treat. And I was lucky enough for that this year. For a few days before, Ryan kept asking me what I wanted to do during the day and I just hummed and mumbled that I didn't know each time. Because although it's nice having your birthday on a Saturday, in my mind, I kept thinking of all the things I wanted to (needed to) get done on the weekend.

But the weather created a plan for us. Instead of the 1-2 cm of snow that was supposed to fall overnight (which is nothing really), we woke up to 10+ cm of snow outside our front window.

So after enjoying a couple of cups of coffee and sitting around in my pajamas while Ryan and the kids shovelled the driveway, we all put on snowpants and went tobagganing.

Now, it should be noted that almost a year ago, Ryan promised Austin that he'd taken him sledding. It was right around the time I sprained my ankle and Austin missed his sledding outing with preschool (because I couldn't take him to school for a week while I was on crutches). It never snowed again that winter and the boys never got to go tobagganing -- to the disappointment of both of them.

So on Saturday morning, just as the snow was letting up, we piled in the car and drove to a nearby hill. It wasn't a very big one -- but big enough when your adventurers are only 2 and 4 years old.

We tobagganed for over an hour, and let me tell you, I can't think anything else that makes you feel more like a kid again (on your 35th birthday nonetheless) than sledding down a hill. And yes, I was sledding down the hill too -- the kids needed a partner every now and then afterall.

After lunch, it was naptime for all -- and yes, even I took a nap. And then I managed to find the time to sit with a cup of tea and read my book in (relative) peace and quiet.

At 6 p.m., the babysitter came and Ryan and I went out with some friends for dinner at the Keg Mansion downtown. We've been friends with this couple for years (and years) but it's an extremely rare occassion these days that the four of us get together as a foursome and not as an eightsome (with the other four all being under the age of 6).

It was a lovely evening filled with good food, good drinks and good adult conversation. Something this stay-at-home, doesn't-get-out-of-the-suburbs-much, 35-year-old mom thinks was the perfect way to end the perfect day.

The Mommy hour

2011-01-07T17:05:00.002-05:00

As a stay-at-home mom, the kids, understandably, spend a lot of time with me. With the exception of the three hours a day Austin is in school, most days the kids are with me, and only me, from the time they wake up (around 7:30 a.m.) until the time Ryan gets home (around 6 p.m.).

That's 10 to 11 hours a day of mommy time.

Our days and weeks are filled. We go to fun places (like the Science Centre or the Zoo), we go to easy-to-get-to places (like the library down the street), we have play dates, we play outside, we do crafts, we play with toys and they watch a little TV in the late afternoon -- after Alex wakes up from her nap -- while I get dinner ready (or just need time to vege out or need to finish some work for a client).

Needless to say, they are rarely bored. And when daddy gets home, they're always super excited to see him and tell him about their day.

And then we all sit down to dinner together. This is often followed by Ryan going off to play with the kids after dinner, leaving me to clean up. It may sound like I get the short end of the stick, having to clean up after having made dinner too, but actually, I like it. Ryan taking the kids away to play means I get a little peace and quiet after 10 hours of non-stop kids. And even though that peace and quiet comes with doing the dishes, it's still quiet (more or less).

That's how a typical weekday goes in our house. Ten to 11 hours of mommy followed by family time followed by 45 minutes to an hour of daddy time.

So, you would think after spending 10 to 11 hours with mommy that both kids would have had enough of me by 7:30 p.m., goodness knows, some days I've had enough of them by that time. But no.

Come 7:30 (or so) when we announce that it's time to start getting ready for bed, they both instantly turn into mommy sucks and the jockeying for position starts.

"Mommy put my jammies on." "No, mommy put my jammies on." "Mommy brush my teeth." "No, mommy brush MY teeth." "Mommy read books" "Mommy put me to bed." "No, mommy put ME to bed."

It's the same thing every single night. Regardless of whether I was away all day or home all day.

Now don't get me wrong, it's great to be wanted by your children -- because goodness knows in about 10 years they may not want anything to do with me. But honestly, every single night. Don't they know that daddy is perfectly capable and willing to do some of those things too?

For the record, we often put our foot down and Ryan will step in and say "No, daddy is reading the book tonight" or "No, daddy will put you to bed and then mommy will come in and give you a kiss".

But that often just starts them bantering for what mommy gets to do tomorrow night.

The 12 days of Christmas in our house

2010-12-30T15:08:00.005-05:00

It was a not-so-fun Christmas for our clan this year as everyone got sick. Austin came down with a really bad cold on Dec. 23, Ryan spiked a fever late Dec. 24, I came down with a bad cold on Dec. 25 and Alex spiked a fever late Dec. 25.

So, in honour of our not-so-joyous holiday season, I have written the 12-days of Christmas...Evans style.

On the first day of Christmas, this season gave to us: 1 supermom (because despite a miserable cold that settled into my lungs and messed with my asthma, I continued to care for everyone all day and night. Oh and because that's what Ryan kept calling me.)

On the second day of Christmas, this season gave to us: 2 double ear infections (that's right, 2 kids with an infection in each ear), and 1 supermom.

On the third day of Christmas, this season gave to us: 3 days of high fevers (39C+), 2 double ear infections and 1 supermom.

On the fourth day of Christmas, this season gave to us: 4 sick people, 3 days of high fevers, 2 double ear infections and 1 supermom.

On the fifth day of Christmas, this season gave to us: 5 days lost to the flu. 4 sick people, 3 days of high fevers, 2 double ear infections and 1 supermom.

On the sixth day of Christmas, this season gave to us: 6 disappointed family members (the ones we had to call in an IOU Christmas visit with), 5 days lost to the flu, 4 sick people, 3 days of high fevers, 2 double ear infections and 1 supermom.

On the seventh day of Christmas, this season gave to us: 7 days of antibiotics, 6 disappointed family members, 5 days lost to the flu, 4 sick people, 3 days of high fevers, 2 double ear infections and 1 supemom.

On the eighth day of Christmas, this season gave to us: 8 presents from mom and dad/Santa per kid (hey, there's got to be something fun in this song), 7 days of antibiotics, 6 disappointed family members, 5 days lost to the flu, 4 sick people, 3 days of high fevers, 2 double ear infections and 1 supermom.

On the ninth day of Christmas, this season gave to us: 9 relatives we saw the day before the sickness started (I sure hope no one else caught this!), 8 presents per kid, 7 days of antibiotics, 6 disappointed family members, 5 days lost to the flu, 4 sick people, 3 days of high fevers, 2 double ear infections and 1 supermom.

On the tenth day of Christmas, this season gave to us: 10 days off school, 9 relatives we saw for lunch the day before the sickness started, 8 presents per kid, 7 days of antibiotics, 6 disappointed family members, 5 days lost to the flu, 4 sick people, 3 days of high fevers, 2 double ear infections and 1 supermom.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, this seaon gave to us: 11-hour nights that the kids couldn't sleep through (due to sickness), 10 days off school, 9 relatives we saw for lunch the day before the sickness started, 8 presents per kid, 7 days of antibiotics, 6 disappointed family members, 5 days lost to the flu, 4 sick people, 3 days of high fevers, 2 double ear infections and 1 supermom.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, this season gave to us: 12 gifts passed around (because when the kids and I went to my parents house for Christmas dinner (of which we ended up not staying for long because that's when Alex started to get sick), believe it or not, I forgot a gift -- my dad's), 11-hour nights that the kids couldn't sleep through, 10 days off school, 9 relatives we saw for lunch the day before the sickness started, 8 presents per kid, 7 days of antibiotics, 6 disappointed family members, 5 days lost to the flu, 4 sick people, 3 days of high fevers, 2 double ear infections and 1 supermom.

Phew. And on that note, this supermom needs a vacation. Oh yeah, and a Christmas do-over.

The house won't be that cold, right?

2010-12-15T13:21:00.002-05:00

I'm sitting at our local McDonald's playground right now (using my Blackberry to pass the time) while the kids burn off some energy after lunch. Heading to McDonald's after school is a first for us but was a necessity today.

Today, I'm having all the windows replaced in my house (that's 9 for anyone that's counting). A day long project at best. Oh and did I mention that it's currently -7C outside right now?! And that's before the windchill makes it somewhere in the negative teens (which I guess is better than yesterday when it was in the negative 20s.) So yeah, sitting at home right now is not a top priority.

And on top of the cold, all the windows that are going to be installed are lying on the floor of the respective rooms - so not only do I not want to be in a cold house with two kids but I also would rather not be in a cold house with two kids and large plates of glass windows lying around everywhere.

This whole thing is ridiculous really. Because honestly who in their right mind replaces their windows in December? Why couldn't we have thought to do this in...oh I don't know....AUGUST!

Patting myself on the back

2010-12-14T07:08:00.001-05:00

A year and a half ago, when I was trying to decide whether to go back to work (before the decision was handed to me on a silver platter), we played the numbers again.

That game where you take your salary, subtract the obligatory taxes and then subtract the cost of two kids in full-time daycare to see how much is left over. The game is useful to see if it's even worthwhile to go back to work or whether working is just a money-losing venture. (Now that game doesn't take into account the EI moeny you're receiving while on maternity leave versus the no income you receive as a stay-at-home mom, but it's still a worthwhile exercise. )

It would've been worthwhile for me to go back -- after taxes and daycare, we would've been left with a little less than a third of my salary. Then of course there would've been the added expenses of commuting and work clothes but you get the general idea.

When we decided I would stay home, it was a decision made on the assumption that I would be bringing in no income.

But soon after we decided I would stay home (or maybe it was at the same time) I decided to do some freelance writing. The decision was solely based on one thought "hey I can write, let's see if I can pick up a little bit of writing work".

In 2009 (or at least the second half of it, which is when I started writing), I did just that, pick up a little bit of work.

But I'm proud to pat myself on the back right now and tell you that as 2010 closes out, I will have worked enough "on the side" to make up that one-third of my salary that would've been leftover had I gone to work every day.

All while getting to do what I really wanted to do -- be a full-time stay-at-home mom.

I'll be honest, it hasn't always been easy. And some days, when I'm tired I think that I'm insane for wanting to be a full-time mom and a part-time writer. Because some weeks,

there isn't enough time to do it all. And there certainly isn't any time leftover for me.

There was a period from mid-May until the end of July where I was working almost constantly. Every afternoon and many evenings and weekends were filled with me sitting in front of my computer. Once or twice I found myself working until 1 a.m., only to get up with the kids at 7. In those months, it was a little too hectic. And I considered finding part-time daycare come September if that pace kept up.

But like the nature of all freelance work, it didn't. But work remained steady throughout the fall -- with many 'naptimes' filled with work, a few evenings a week and the occasional weekend afternoon. Enough to keep me busy. And enough to bring the money in.

The kids are used to it, even if they don't understand what 'work' is when I say mommy has to work. With my Blackberry closeby, I'm able to respond to work requests wherever I am -- I took a job this summer while at the splash pad with the kids and another one while wandering around Riverdale Farm. It might be a busy life, but I can do both my jobs at the same time while at the park. So life ain't all that bad.

As 2011 approaches, I'm going to do it all again. See if I can make that much money again, or as my contacts snowball with referrals and my client list continues to grow, maybe I'll even be able to make a little more. Goodness knows, having the extra money that we didn't expect to have when I left the working world has been helpful. And if all goes well, by the time the kids are both in school, I may have enough work on my hands to do this full-time and then maybe I'll never go back to an office again.

But now I'm getting ahead of myself. Because right now, if I take on much more work than I did this year, I may seriously need to look into daycare options.

Who would want an old broken fridge?

2010-12-09T15:15:00.002-05:00

Last Monday, our ancient basement fridge (and oh yes, it was ancient) finally died. It was our beer fridge, so really, it wasn't a huge loss. By that I mean, no contents of the fridge were lost. Not having a beer/drink fridge mere weeks before having people over for Christmas -- now that was a problem.

So, on Tuesday morning, I marched off to Sears, found one we liked that also happened to be on sale and bought it. It's an all-fridge (no freezer) and it's about twice the size of the old one -- meaning we can store more than just drinks in it.

So that was Tuesday. On Wednesday, we discovered that the old fridge that was now sitting dead in the corner had been leaking for two (or more) days all over the carpet. The carpet was now soaked. I got to spend a fair bit of time with the wet vac before marching off to Home Depot and renting a carpet blower to dry the carpet out.

On Tuesday of this week, the guys from Sears brought me my new fridge and carried my old one out. Well most of it. They left the door behind in my basement because we had forgotten to remove drinks from it. (Oh, because did I mention that when the old fridge died, it did so by slowly filling with ice over the course of a few weeks so that it finally pushed the door right off. Yup, that's right. The door fell off. And yup, that's right, it didn't occur to either of us that a fridge full of ice sitting on your carpet can only lead to a very wet carpet. This is where you get to say dumbass.)

So the fridge went out on the curb Tuesday afternoon for Thursday's garbage pickup. As late as 6:30 p.m. on Wednesday afternoon, it was lying sadly by the side of the road. At 8:30 p.m., I carried the door outside so it too would get picked up and low and behold, the dead fridge was gone.

I know the garbage truck didn't come by in that two hour period, so that leaves me with just one question.

Who would want a dead doorless fridge?

Santa's elves

2010-12-03T21:57:00.004-05:00

In 1988, my youngest sister really, really, really wanted an Oopsie Daisy doll from Santa for Christmas. She was 3 years old and this crawling, talking baby was the big thing among toddlers that year. Sort of like Tickle Me Elmo was in the mid-199os.

Not wanting to disappoint their youngest daughter, my parents searched high and low for this doll. We lived in Montreal at the time, and they couldn't find it anywhere. Finally, a few days before Christmas, they found out a store in Platsburg, NY (the shopping town just over the border) was getting a shipment. My dad made the hour and a bit drive the following Saturday to get it. The one small problem that day -- there was a blizzard, yet my dad drove through it (and home in it) to get his daughter an Oopsie Daisy doll.

Us girls were told this story years later and it's always been a good laugh in our family.

Last week, I sat my kids down to write their Santa letters. Austin, who at 4 years old, I discovered, still doesn't quite get the Santa thing. He gets that Santa will come and bring him presents, but he doesn't understand that this is his chance to ask for anything he wants. (Which maybe for me, is a good thing.)

So, as we're writing his letter, he's looking around the room at his toys trying to figure out what to ask for based on what he has. He asks for blocks (of which he has lots of) and then he hones in on his Lightning McQueen car and says "I want a Sally car". And I'm thinking, "what's a Sally car?" and then I realize, he wants the Sally character car from the Cars movie.

My first thoughts are along the lines of "oh crap, how am I going to find one of those."

I know that the Disney Store sells Cars Movie stuff, but usually the cars are in 10 packs, and I didn't want to spend $50 because Austin wanted one car.

So I checked Amazon dot com and sure enough, I could buy a single Sally car (with Linticular eyes and all) for less than $9 -- oh and pay about $20 in shipping to Canada. At that price, I might as well pay a little bit more and get a 10-pack of cars.

And that's when I got the idea to enlist some elves to help me.

My sister lives in California and my other sister (the one who wanted the Oopsie Daisy doll all those years ago) lives here in Toronto but was heading to California for a visit.

So I called up my sister in California and we hatched a plan. The car was sent to her (at about a $3 shipping fee) and my other sister will bring it back with her to Toronto when she comes home. And then I'll just have to pick it up.

Sometimes Santa has to be a little creative. And years from now, I'm sure Austin will get a laugh out of the fact that it took two aunts to get one toy to him.

Baking granddad's cookies

2010-11-29T15:30:00.003-05:00

The other day, I was frantically searching through my recipe box (which is an embarassing disaster, but that's a story for another day) in search of what I was planning to make for dinner, when I came across an index card labelled 'Granddad's Shortbread Cookies'.

I stopped what I was doing, looked it over and put it aside. Not the kind of put it aside that you do when you're finished with something and are now moving on, but the kind of put it aside where the wheels are turning in my head. I was thinking, I can make these.

Before I go on, here's where I have to retract a statement I made here on this blog almost four years ago. At that time, I was pretty emphatic in the statement "I don't bake." I didn't like doing it and so I didn't. Any yummy home-baked treats in my house were always courtesy of Ryan.

But times have changed -- and so have I. Four years ago, I was still a new mom. Now I'm a stay-at-home mom of two. Now, I enjoy baking, sort of. The sort of is that it's something I enjoy doing with the kids. It's an activity we do together -- taking turns measuring, pouring, mixing, scooping and finally watching whatever it is we've just made, baking in the oven. The idea of baking up a storm all afternoon, or in the evening after the kids go to bed, is not something that appeals to me (late-night cooking, yes, baking, not so much). But baking with the kids is fun.

So this year, for the first time ever, I started Christmas baking. And I started a little over a week ago. So far we have plain ol' chocolate chip cookies and magic squares in the freezer just waiting for Christmas.

I had already been thinking of shortbread as our next baking adventure, and when I saw my granddad's recipe, I just knew I had to try it.

When I was growing up, every Christmas my granddad would bake up dozens and dozens of shortbread cookies. And he always made sure that us kids ate many more than my parents knew about while we were visiting. They melted in your mouth and were the best cookies I ever had. Every year, we all looked forward to eating these cookies. And I'm pretty sure he enjoyed making them just because we all enjoyed eating them so much.

My granddad died a little over 10 years ago.

But sometime since then (or maybe it was before then, I don't remember) I copied down the recipe while visiting my grandmother. I don't know why I copied it down, because I didn't bake. But I did. It's a super simple recipe, it just always seemed so difficult because the idea of baking in general was difficult for me.

So today after lunch, the kids and I set out to make granddad's shortbread cookies. We measured and poured the ingredients, mixed it all up, rolled out the dough and cut out Christmas shapes (with my newly-bought Christmas cookie cutters). After the first batch was done, I baked the second batch as plain old circles, just like my granddad used to do.

A lot has changed since I ate way too many shortbread cookies as a kid, but when I tasted the first one that the kids and I had made it felt like some things never change.

A mini-vacation at home

2010-11-28T17:40:00.004-05:00

On Friday afternoon, right after lunch, I drove the kids to my mother-in-law's for the weekend. She lives in London -- two hours away -- and the kids stayed for 48 whole hours.

Now, I love being home full-time with the kids, but I've been counting down the days and the hours to this weekend all week. And by the time I picked Austin up at school at 11:30 on Friday morning, I was doing a little happy dance (much to the jealous dismay of my mom friends at school).

I've been away from the kids before but it is a very rare occurance that the kids have gone away and I have stayed home. In the summer, the kids spent four days at my parents house while Ryan and I went to Chicago. They also spent three nights at my parents house in May so that we could go to Niagara-on-the-Lake as a sort-of anniversary getaway. All of these getaways are nice, but to ship the kids off and stay home is pure luxury.

And so, I arrived in London just after 3 p.m. and was back on the road heading home just after 4 p.m. (having been delayed because Alex fell asleep in the back seat about 10 minutes from my mother-in-laws so I sat in the car in the driveway with her for awhile). At about 6:30, I was back home in my house.

And what did we do? Go out. Being able to spontaneously say, "hey, you want to go out for dinner?" was too good an offer to pass up. So we went to this great little barbecue restaurant on Bayview -- ate, drank and listened to live music for a few hours.

Saturday morning rolled around and the first thing I noticed when I woke up was that I got to wake up on my own (which sadly was around 8 a.m., but that's not the point). No one was yelling 'mommy' from down the hall. The house was quiet and it was heavenly.

We spent the next few hours Christmas shopping -- buying stuff for our kids and other kids without having to drag two kids around from store to store with us. Then it was home for a few hours where we sat and watched TV -- a show we like in the middle afternoon, not Mickey Mouse Clubhouse -- before getting ready to go to Ryan's company Holiday Party.

That was the real purpose for shipping the kids off this weekend, the holiday party. It's always a big event, with hundreds of people and free food and booze all evening. We ate, we drank, we partied, we came home to a quiet house. Heaven.

Around noon, Ryan left for London to get the kids and I've been home alone all afternoon -- another first, as I don't remember the last time I had a whole afternoon by myself in my own house. How did I spend it? Well I spent three hours cleaning -- cleaning Austin's room, cleaning Alex's room and cleaning the toys in the family room. Going through and purging all the stuff the kids don't need without them around means they're not standing over me saying "but I want that".

I did find some time to relax this afternoon, which has been nice.

And now it's almsot 6 p.m. Ryan and and the kids should be home any minute. And I'll be honest. I miss them. Saturday morning when I woke up, I didn't. But now, I do. My house has been quiet long enough -- they can come home now and make some noise. At least until the next time I really need a break.

Problem? What problem?

2010-11-18T09:29:00.004-05:00

In January, Alex starts preschool. Two mornings a week, for two hours a day. It's the same preschool that Austin went to last year and Alex is really excited to go. (Which is a good thing, because I did worry that she'd have separation anxiety.) Almost daily, she asks me how many more months until she goes to preschool.

So, last night at dinner, right after she asked "when do I go to preschool", for the 100th time, Austin and I had the following conversation:

Austin: Mommy, we have a problem.

Me: What is is?

Austin: Well, when Alex is at preschool and I'm at Kindergarten, you're going to be all by yourself.

Me: (Trying not to laugh, smile or start fist pumping at the idea of two whole hours to myself, not once but twice a week) That's ok Austin. I'll be ok.

My kids are conspiring against me

2010-11-16T16:47:00.004-05:00

Last Saturday night, Ryan and I went out to a concert (Mumford and Sons...great band, great show, if you haven't heard of them, I highly suggest you check them out). It's not something we do often -- heck we don't go out just the two of us more than, maybe...maybe once a month.

This particular Saturday night involved having my sister-in-law babysitting (yay for overnight babysitters!), six friends and just one or two (or three or four or....) beers. We got home just after 1 a.m. and I hate to admit it, but I'm too old to be out that late and drink that much.

I don't easily remember the drinking days of my youth (hmmm, I wonder why?) but now days, when I do crash after a night out, I don't tend to sleep well. That iddy biddy bladder of mine keeps waking me up.

And so, I was up twice between 1 a.m. and 4 a.m. And then, at 4:45 a.m., Ryan's alarm clock went off. Yes, it was Sunday morning, and his alarm starting buzzing like a Monday. Except he was so quick to hit snooze that I barely registered what it was before dozing back off.

He hit it out of habit and this scenerio repeated itself four times until, at about 5:25 a.m., my beer-induced brain finally forced itself to wake up enough and register what was going on. I nudged Ryan awake, told him to turn the damn alarm off and rolled over.

At 6:15 a.m., my *bleeping* alarm started to annoyingly try to tell me that it was Monday, not Sunday. I turned it off, cursed and went back to sleep.

The kids woke up around 7:30. (Thankfully it wasn't my morning to get up, but still...)

Why, you might ask, are our alarms going off at ungodly hours on the morning after a night of partying and drinking? Little fingers are the answer. Both kids like playing with our alarm clocks -- turning on the music from time to time. On Saturday afternoon, it was Alex who was fiddling with them -- and in the process, turned them on.

Moral of this story: (other than don't let your kids play with your bedside clock) the kids know when you get that one rare night out and conspire to ensure you pay for it as much as possible!

I'm on a decluttering mission

2010-11-09T21:41:00.004-05:00

Some days, I feel like my house is just one giant space filled with clutter. That's one of the downside to being at home all day long. You can never escape it. And with two kids and a work-from-home job, some weeks and months, I'm stretched so thin that the clutter just builds and builds until not only is every surface covered with stuff that doesn't belong there, but everywhere we would even casually toss stuff 'to be dealt with later' is full of stuff too.

So this weekend, I went on a clutter kick. Since I have a bit of downtime with my workload right now, I am determind that by the time Christmas comes (and we have a whole new level of clutter), that this house WILL BE decluttered. Every. Single. Room.

And yes, that even means you spare room.

On Saturday night, I started posting things on Kijiji like a mad woman. Sadly, so far I've only had one bite, but that's not the point. Whatever's not gone in a week is going to Goodwill with the other two boxes of stuff I filled. And those boxes go alongside the two boxes of toys that will be donated to the Early Years Centre tomorrow. (Why the Early Years Centre? Because I have been dropping in there for four years so this afternoon I called and asked if they take toy donations. They do -- and whatever they can't use they in turn donate to other charities, so I know that it will all go to good use.)

It might sound like a lot of decluttering has been done already, but that was the easy part. You see, a lot of that stuff has been hanging around in boxes and bins, stacked against a wall in the basement for months. All the stuff that has been removed from circulation but never taken that one step further.

Later this week starts the hard part. The storage space underneath the stairs that you can barely walk into anymore. It's mostly filled with Rubbermaid bins of kids clothes and shoes and God knows what else. Then will come the kids' rooms. Some toys and dolls are going to have to go to make room for the truckload of stuff they're bound to get for Christmas, and I have to empty out their closets of all the clothes that don't fit.

After then comes the *gulp* spare room. It's gotten better over the years, but it's still the place where things go to die. In other words, if we don't know what to do with something, it goes in there. And years later we finally realize it needs to be thrown out.

You may ask, if that system is working, why mess with it? Well, in the new year, we're going to be turning that spare room into an office for me. (Don't worry all you out-of-towners who have slept in that room in the past, there'll be a futon in there.) And I refuse to have it cluttered up with a million things that we don't need or want in the first place. The shelves full of my canning can stay and old photo albums can stay. But mountains of CDs and hundreds of old Ranger Rick magazines (don't ask) may just have to go.

My experience travelling with the kids

2010-10-25T15:41:00.003-04:00

I have a few backlogged blog posts...things I wanted to write about but didn't get a chance to do before we left for Austin, Texas -- where we didn't have Internet in our hotel. Honestly, what hotel doesn't have Internet, these days? So I wrote in Word in the evenings, and am posting now.

Until Sunday (Oct. 17), we’d never flown anywhere with both kids. When Austin was 18 months, we flew to Fredericton for a weekend but we knew that that wouldn’t prepare us for this experience. For starters, the ratio of adults to kids on that flight was 2 to 1 and secondly, it was only a two-hour flight.

The flight to Austin, Texas, with both kids was to be a six-hour travel-time trip. But the day started much earlier than that, because goodness knows, the process at the Toronto airport can take awhile when you’re travelling by yourself – when you’re travelling with 2 kids, 2 suitcases, 2 car seats, 1 stroller and 5 carry-ons, (hey, we were going for an entire week afterall), we figured it would take a long while.

So here’s how the day went:
- Step 1: park the car and take the LINK train from the garage to the terminal.
- Step 2: stand in line to check in because the airline wouldn’t let us check in online the night before because the only seats left on the flight are in the exit aisle and you can’t sit in the exit aisle with kids.
- Step 3: drag all the bags, car seats and carry-ons through customs.
- Step 4: clear customs and put the suitcases on one conveyer belt and the car seats on another
- Step 5: wait in another long line to go through security while bribing the now screaming 2-year-old with promises that she'll get Smarties as soon as this line is done.
- Step 6: get to the gate and instead of waiting 1 hour for the flight, wait 2 hours because the flight is delayed.
- Step 7: Fly to Minneapolis while the woman in front of me repeatedly turns around and glares because my 2-year-old is loud (yes, she was talking loudly, but she was talking and singing – not screaming and not kicking the chair in front of her) Entertain 2-year-old for the entire 2-hour flight.
- Step 8: Instead of having 1 hour and 21 minutes to change planes in Minneapolis, dash across the airport because there's only about 25 minutes until takeoff while dragging two kids (and a stroller and 5 carry-ons)
- Step 9: Make the next flight and get through the next 2 and a half hours by bribing the kids with TV.
- Step 10: Get off the plane, get bags, find rental car company, rent car, go to car, install car seats in car and finally get a map and figure out where the heck you have to go (and tip the porter that was kind enough to help with some of the process).
- Step 11: Drive to hotel while 2-year-old screams from the backseat because it’s been 11 hours since we left home and she hasn’t napped.
- Step 12: Find hotel and realize that said 2-year-old has passed out from exhaustion.
- Step 13: Check in to hotel, move stuff upstairs, wake 2-year-old and find nearest McDonalds for dinner.

In all, it was a really long day – as travelling always is – but considering what we dragged the kids through, it was a good day. And for the most part, they were both really good.

Now we just have to reverse the entire process on the way home. But this time we were stupid enough to book a late afternoon flight, so not only will Alex not nap but she’ll also be up unbelievably late. Maybe if we’re lucky, she’ll pass out from exhaustion.

Racing Day

2010-10-25T15:12:00.004-04:00

Saturday morning (Oct. 16) was racing day. Once again this year, I was crazy enough sign up to run the 10K Zoo Run. And I say crazy, because really, running 10K is a crazy idea.

But this year, I actually had fun.

I really only started seriously training for racing day 7 weeks ago – although, since April, I’d been going out about 3 or 4 times a month and running 4 to 6 km, so I wasn’t completely out of shape or practice. But, for the record, until Saturday, the last time I ran a full 10K was Oct. 17, 2009 – last year’s Zoo Run. In my 7 weeks of training, I never pushed past 9km.

Regardless, I was ready. After a 9K run earlier this week, my only thoughts upon completion was ‘bring it on’. Whereas in the days leading up to last year’s run, I was terrified and wondering why the hell I thought I could do such a crazy thing.

So, on Saturday, October 16, 2010, I ran 10K at the Toronto Zoo in 1:14:58 – about 45 seconds faster than last year. To be honest, when I first thought of running again, I had hoped to be able to do it faster than that, but considering I was on crutches a mere 9 months ago, I’m pretty damn pleased with myself.

Even though I was ready and pumped to run, I was still nervous when I woke up Saturday morning. And the fact that there was traffic along Morningside getting into the zoo didn’t make things easier. Parking was such a nightmare, that I had to jump out of the car partway to the lot and briskly walk to the starting gate while Ryan parked, just to ensure I’d make it for start time. Problem was, I still had to go to the bathroom when I got there and as I was lining up, 8:30 came and went.

No worries though, the starting gate stays open for 10 minutes after gun time and when I was done, I just hustled over and started running (with all the other late comers). It put me in a weird frame of mind when I started though, not to be with the pack of runners – and for the first kilometre or so, I kept thinking that I had to catch up until I finally remembered that the only person I was racing against was myself.

So once I got into a better mindset, I just enjoyed the run and before I knew it, I had passed the 3km mark – which was where I had planned to take a short walking break. My plan had been to stop at 3, 6 and 8. But suddenly I found myself somewhere past 3k. So I took a short walking break and then carried on.

As I rounded 5k, my cheering squad was yelling ‘go mommy go’ from the sidelines, giving me a much needed lift. Although I was still feeling good, it’s usually around the 4.5K to 6K point that I really tire out before getting a second wind. And then I just got into the zone and kept going – reaching 7K before stopping again for a drink and to fix my shoe. There was no point stopping anymore with less than 3km left, so I just pushed through it, not ever considering that I wouldn’t be able to do it. And about 100 metres from the finish line, my cheering squad was yelling as loud as they could.

One thing’s for sure…I forgot how hilly the zoo is. It was a different course this year than last year, and although I’m sure it didn’t make much of difference, I felt like I was almost always going up. Every time I ran to the top of one small hill, there was a bigger one a little ways down the way.

But after feeling so good about that race, I’m looking forward to the next one already. Because there will be another one. Next year, I’m looking at the Yonge Street one in May (the one I wanted to do this year before I ended up on crutches). And thankfully, it’s all downhill.

How does (my) garden grow?

2010-10-04T07:07:00.002-04:00

The gardening season has officially ended for me. I say that in writing, but in reality I haven't yet had a chance to pull the plants out of the ground. Knowing how busy the next few weeks are going to be -- they'll probably sit for a least two or three (or four) more weeks.

In all, I have to say it was a pretty good growing season and, unlike last year, my little garden didn't turn into a jungle. (Although I did forget to take pictures of it in its glory so you'll just have to take my word for it.) But as I went on and on about in previous posts, my zucchinni plant really tried to take over.

It was big. It was plentiful and it tried to choke out everything in its path. Throughout much of July and August, I was begging and pleading with people to take a monster-sized zuchinni off my hands. And when I couldn't get rid of any more, I cooked and baked with it. And when I got tired of that, I shredded up what was left and tossed it in my freezer (all 24 cups of it). So we'll still be eating zuchinni for months to come; meaning my family should be wary because you never know where some zuchinni will crop up.

After being a big, plentiful plant for almost two months, I opened the curtains one morning, looked out the window and discovered that the entire plant had collapsed. There it was, lying dead in the garden -- with zuchinnis still growing on it and everything. I have no idea how it happened, but I wasn't overly sad to see it go.

It's demise meant my tomatoes had a fighting chance. Until that time, my four tomato plants (1 of which was a grape tomato plant) weren't doing badly, but they weren't doing great. They had produced enough tomatoes for one small batch of tomato sauce and one batch of salsa. The grape tomato plant hadn't done much, which is the one that surprised me the most because last year it grew like a weed and produced more little tomatoes than one family could possibly eat.

So in hopes of a warm September, I pulled the now-dead zucchini plant out of the ground and gave my tomato plants as much space as I could. The bottom half of each plant had seen better days but suddenly they started growing up and sprouting new tomotoes. In the end, I got a few more tomatoes out of each one -- although they're rather small and some had to be picked while still green to save them from this week's cold weather. But they'll do -- I'll toss them in with the basket of tomatoes I bought at the market to make more salsa.

And now that's it all done, the lessons I've learned this year are not to plant zucchini unless I really, really want it; raspberry bushes try to take over, even though they produce an incredible amount of fruit and when all else fails, buy tomatoes for salsa and sauce at the market.

An age reality

2010-09-13T21:27:00.008-04:00

A few weeks ago I had a very odd realization. It was odd because it's not something I should've just 'realized', it's something that I should've already known.

But for some reason, I didn't. Or, at least, I hadn't really thought about it.

Ready for it? In less than four months, I'm going to be 35.

There, I said it. 35.

This statement is odd, because I know I'm 34; I even remember that, for the first time in years, I went out to celebrate my birthday last year with a night at the bar with a few close friends. So you would think that if I clearly remember celebrating my 34th birthday that, by default, I would know that my next birthday would be 35.

But somehow, it hadn't occurred to me.

For some reason, I'm having trouble with this one. 35. That's a really big number. I didn't have an issue with 30 -- which probably had a lot to do with the fact that I was eight months pregnant and had a lot more to think about (like the fact that I was about to become a new mom) than turning 30.

I don't really remember turning 25 (which means I probably drank too much) and 20 was, well, a really long time ago.

But 35 is a big number. It just feels so much older than 34. It means that when I respond to surveys, I can no longer check the 18-34 box. It means I'm halfway to...gulp...40.

What I need to do is just suck it up and accept it. Because, really, there's not a damn thing I can do about it. And it's just another number, right? The 18-34 bracket was a pretty interesting ride, so the start of the next age bracket is bound to be even better.

Who knows...I was writing about running the other day, maybe turning 35 will be motivation to run a half marathon before I turn 40.

T-40 days until I run again

2010-09-06T21:27:00.003-04:00

Last year, I signed up for a 10K run to give myself a challenge; to prove to myself that I could do it and really, just for the sense of accomplishment.

And it felt awesome when I finished the run. I didn't care that I wasn't that fast -- I finished it and not long after (like later that night) I started thinking about when the next one will be.

It's in 40 days.

Back in June, I signed up for the same 10K run again. I had wanted to do one sooner, but with the whole sprained ankle and crutches episode from last winter, it wasn't really a feasible (or sensible) option. But I started running a little bit in March and then a little bit more in April and May. So by early June, I signed up for the 10K Zoo Run on Oct. 16.

Then I barely had a time to run this summer -- managing just once a week some weeks and no runs at all other weeks. Last week, I suddenly realized that race day is quickly approaching and if I want to actually be able to run 10K, I have to train for it.

So, in the last 11 days, I've been out five times with no run being shorter than 5K. Like last year, it's a struggle again and I can't manage even close to 10K yet (I'm about 4K short of that distance -- which is a long way when you're using foot-power to get there). But I have 6 weeks left to train and dammit, I'm going to do it. At one point, I wanted to run faster than last year, but now, I don't care. I just want to cross that finish line again.

I know I can do it. And Ryan's very supportive of this goal (and a real slave driver when I say I don't feel like going running right now!) And the kids even shout 'go, mommy, go' for me almost every time I head out the door.

After the Oct. 16 run, we'll see where running takes me -- whether I consistently keep training and aim for a spring run or even consider kicking it up a notch to a longer run. Ryan thinks I can do it, but I'm not so sure right now. Training for a 10K run takes enough of a time commitment out of my busy life -- quite frankly, I don't know if I can devote even more time to running every week.

Regardless of what I do in the future, think of me around 8:30 a.m. on Oct. 16 -- and hope that the weather is a little bit warmer this year.

By the way...

2010-09-04T17:06:00.003-04:00

...we ended up going to Chicago. Really, even thinking about not going was a crazy notion.

We got away for four whole nights and remembered again what it was like to be adults and not just parents. We slept until when we wanted without worry and planned our days how we wanted and not around nap schedules and snack schedules. So really, a much-deserved time to be a little bit selfish.

If you care, I wrote about our trip over on the family blog.

Canning, canning and more canning

2010-09-03T07:10:00.004-04:00

I think I'm a little obssessed this time around. Last summer was my first foray into canning my own food. With a new vegetable garden in the back, it was the perfect opportunity to try it out.

Last summer, from my backyard vegetables, I made one batch of relish and two batches of salsa (and one batch of tomato sauce, but I froze that). And although at first, I was rather apprehensive by the whole process, I discovered that I really enjoyed it.

For me, the process -- when done during the evening after the kids go to bed -- is a relaxing way to spend my time. And, of course, makes for many tasty meals and condiments over the course of the year.

So, this year, I started early by making strawberry jam with fresh picked strawberries at the end of June. I even let the kids help and we made it an afternoon activity. One kid washed the strawberries, then I cut them up and then the other kid would take the cut pieces and put them in the pot. In the end, I made a really tasty jam -- even if it turned out more like strawberry syrup than jam. (Vanilla ice cream anyone?)

As the summer's worn on, I've made a batch of relish and a batch of salsa (from my garden vegetables), two batches of tomato sauce (one from my garden tomatoes one from a basket at the market) and yesterday, the kids and I made peach jam.

Again, we made a very tasty jam but again, it didn't quite set. I don't know what I'm doing wrong as both times I've followed the recipe exactly. And both times, I've ended up with runny jam (although this time it's not quite as syrupy). Any jam makers out there have any suggestions for me? As I'm thinking of making another batch of peach jam next week.

Also on the menu for this fall is another batch of salsa (maybe even two more batches), possibly another batch of relish (mainly because my cucumber plant is suddenly producing a ton of cukes again), a batch of pickles and another batch of tomato sauce.

One thing's for sure, I may soon need to find a new place to store all my jars. And watch out, some of you may end up with a jar or two from me under your Christmas tree this year.

What to do?

2010-08-17T07:14:00.002-04:00

Late Saturday night, we got back from a week at the cottage that we rent up north. It was a fantastic week, with hot, almost-perfect weather (we had one afternoon of rain). The kids ran themselves ragged playing outside all day (meaning they slept until 8 or later almost every morning) and Ryan and I had a chance to relax and detach ourselves from the rest of the world.

In a word, it was perfect.

When we got home, our lives became a frenzy of unpacking, doing laundry, cutting the grass and getting caught up at work, because not four days after walking in the door, we're planning on walking back out on another vacation. This time, on Thursday morning, the kids are going to my parents house for four days and Ryan and I are going to Chicago for a wedding.

Now there's one small problem with this frenzied plan. Yesterday afternoon, the wedding was cancelled. I found out by e-mail and that's all I know as, in her e-mail, my friend specifically told everyone she didn't much feel like talking on the phone. I sent her an e-mail just to say I was thinking of her; she sent me a short message back to say she's doing ok and has left Chicago for a little while to sort out what to do with her life.

I feel for her. I don't know what's going on, but I feel sick just thinking about it. Calling off your wedding just 6 days before the date is surely not a decision that a couple comes to lightly.

But, if I can be selfish for a minute, Ryan and I are left with the dilemma of what to do. We have non-refundable airline tickets to Chicago for Thursday afternoon. Do we cancel our trip and lose the money from the flights or say to hell with it and go off on a romantic weekend anyway?

Maybe I should just not plant zucchini

2010-08-04T15:59:00.002-04:00

Last year, I mentioned that when we returned from the cottage, I had three monster zucchinis ready to be picked and eaten. At the time, I wondered what I was going to do with all that zucchini.

Last year was nothing compared to this year.

This year, my zucchini plant has decided that it shall take over the garden. It has decided that it will be the biggest plant; the one that attracts the most sun and soaks up all the water. It has also decided to produce more zucchinis than any one family can fathom eating in a summer. Or a year for that matter.

To date, I have baked 48 zucchini muffins; grilled zucchini for dinner one night; cut up zucchini to eat raw with dip (but I'm the only one who likes that in my family); shredded and frozen 12 cups (yes, 12 cups) of zucchini so that I can make two batches of salsa later this summer when the tomatoes are ready; and given two away. Yet there are still two semi-monster size zucchinis sitting in my kitchen and 5 more growing outside.

I have no idea what to do with it all anymore. Zucchini pickles maybe? Zucchini relish? More zucchini bread/muffins? (I think I'll make chocolate zucchini bread tomorrow). Any ideas would be very, very welcomed at this point.

Oh, and if you want one, just show up in my backyard one day and make it disappear for me. Goodness knows I won't miss it.

(The other vegetables, by the way, are doing alright. The raspberry bush was awesome and we ate raspberries by the pint for weeks -- I may even have enough in the freezer for a batch of jam later this month. The tomatoes and cucumbers are growing well, but honestly, I think they're being choked out by the damn zucchini.)

I could get used to this

2010-07-19T16:56:00.004-04:00

Today was Austin's first day of day camp -- all day day camp. I dropped him off at 9 a.m. and picked him up at 4 p.m.

For those of you doing the math, that's 7 whole hours where I was only responsible for one child. The last time I dropped Austin off for an entire day was 19 months ago when he went to daycare 2 days a week.

Now, I know, I know, I'm a stay-at-home mom by choice. And I do love my job. But, I'll be honest, it was a nice change of pace to have only one kid today. Alex and I dropped Austin off, played outside, went for a bike ride around the block and then went to two different parks with a friend of mine who was visiting from Chicago.

After our park trip, we headed home for lunch, played a little more and then, when my friend left, Alex took a nap. And I had two complete hours of time to myself. Of course, instead of lounging around and relaxing, I used the time to get work done as I'm on a deadline right now. (A stroke of good luck with camp being at the same time that I'm deadline, considering I signed Austin up for this camp back in March before I ever had this particular job.) But that's alright, because that's two hours of work I won't have to do in the evenings.

In all, Alex and I had a great day and Austin came home happy and tired. I could definitely get used to this.

Seriously blurring the line between my self-employed career and my mom career

2010-07-13T15:45:00.006-04:00

I tried something incredibly brave today.

Over the last few months, I have been getting more and more freelance work. To the point that throughout most of May and June I was working most evenings and weekends and I called in at least half a dozen favours (or paid visits) for babysitting so that I could go to daytime meetings or events.

Just last week, a new client wanted to meet with me and a friend oh-so-kindly added my kids to hers for two and half hours so that I could drive downtown, meet him and show off my portfolio (now hopefully that'll result in new work in the future).

All of this work has been great and I'm really happy with the way business is going, but it has got me seriously thinking about looking into part-time daycare options in the fall. Just so that I have some daytime hours to myself to work or meet and I'm not constantly working in the evenings.

I sure hadn't thought I'd be in this position when I decided to be a stay-at-home mom.

Which brings me to today's incredibly brave, blurred line adventure.

One of my clients wanted to meet to discuss the next phase of a project we've been working on for months and I couldn't get a sitter. All of my regular sitter's are on vacation or working and at a certain point, favour-asking wears thin..

So, I asked my client if she would mind if the kids joined us while we talked. And, since she's that kind of person (and has two kids of her own), she agreed to meet me at a café in Leslieville called lil' bean n' green.

Why that place? Well I found it online and chose it because it's a café and play place. And true to it's name, there are tables and expresso -- and beyond a little fence is a climbing structure, toys and books for the kids.

So while mom sits and talks the kids can run around and avoid being bored by the conversation.

I was pretty nervous heading into this meeting because it could've gone either way -- the kids could've been completely independent and left me alone or they could've decided that they don't want to play unless mommy joins them.

Thankfully, it went brilliantly and the kids played for an ENTIRE HOUR while I met with my client. They played nicely and even participated in the song and story time, led by one of the moms, without me. And yes, it wasn't exactly the quietest place to meet, but it allowed me to do two things at the same time -- be a self-employed professional and a stay-at-home mom. And it also made me realize that my kids are far more independent than I realized.

By the time my client left, it was almost noon so I rewarded the kids for being so good by buying them lunch there. The food prices weren't bad although it was more than I would normally spend on lunch for the kids.

I would definitely consider pulling this stunt again, with the right type of client. Or, when I'm really stretched thin for time, I'd consider bringing a laptop, sitting down with a cup of coffee and getting an hour's worth of work done while the kids play.

Now I just need to buy a laptop.

Time to start cooking, baking and canning

2010-07-11T15:25:00.004-04:00

Last summer was my first adventure in growing vegetables. All in all, it went well, aside from the fact that I overplanted. Throughout the month of August, and into September, we ate fresh cucumbers, tomatoes and zucchini and I canned salsa and relish and baked with zucchini...a lot.

This year, when I planted, I hoped that the end results of my garden would be as 'fruitful' and that we'd once again get to eat yummy fresh vegetables and I'd get to spend hours in the kitchen.

And thanks to the hot, hot sunny days we've had these last few weeks -- and a fair bit of rain as well -- the garden is exploding with vegetables and I going to be cooking and baking way ahead of schedule.

You see, I just assumed that all would be similar to last year, and that I'd be cooking in late August and early September. But I forgot to take one small thing into consideration...last year, was cold all through July. Meaning everything likely grew and ripened much slower. This year, not so much.

Right now, sitting on my kitchen counter are three good-sized cucumbers and two very large zuchinnis. There are another two zucchinis out back waiting to be picked and the first batch of grape tomatoes are almost ready. The tomatoes are still quite green, but I'm sure they won't be long. And I won't even begin to tell you how many raspberries we have. There are so many that we can't eat them fast enough and I've now started freezing the leftover picked ones at the end of every day.

So, this afternoon the kids and I are going to bake some chocolate zucchini bread. And then maybe some muffins if we still have an abundance of zucchini. If those cucumbers don't get eaten fast enough -- I think there's relish in my future this week. Which is a good thing actually, because I'm down to my last jar from last summer!

And the raspberries? There's definitely going to be jam in my future.

Muffin Tin Monday - Happy Canada Day!

2010-07-05T07:18:00.005-04:00

Austin and Alex are both really interested in the Canada flag. Being older, Austin started it of course, but everywhere we go, they both have to point out -- by yelling -- every Canada flag we see.

So, last week, I explained about Canada Day -- which really just got the two of them excited to see more Canada flags. (Of course, they received several paper ones to wave around as we joined in on the many festivities of the day.) And for their pre-soccer snack the day before Canada Day, we did a red and white theme. On the top row, we have grape tomatoes, Babybel cheese (half unwrapped to show both colours) and strawberry yogurt. On the bottom row we have strawberries (picked by the three of us at the strawberry farm the day before), a piece of bread with cream cheese and strawberry jam spread to look like a Canada flag (I'll give credit where credit's due -- that was Ryan's idea) and milk.

The kids loved it. Austin ate every last bite. Alex, on the other hand has finally entered the picky two-year-old eater faze and licked the jam off the bread, ate the yogurt and strawberries and declared that she was 'all done'. (Really, I'm not going to complain that she's entered this faze -- until recently she could outeat her brother!)

See everyone else's Muffin Tin Monday here:

The weather gods are conspiring against us

2010-06-29T06:51:00.000-04:00

The last three July 1st long weekends, we have gone camping with a group of friends ranging from a group as small as three families to a group as large as six families (I think we were 22 people that year).

The first year, it was cold (and I mean, see your breath at night cold) and it rained on and off for three days.

The second year started with a torrential rainstorm the first night, followed by cool temperatures and on and off rain for three days.

The third year, we moved the trip to a different park in hopes of having better weather luck. We did have a bit of sun, but we had a lot of rain -- more daytime rain than we'd had in the past three years. And it wasn't that warm out either.

This year, the group came to a consensus to move the trip to the August long weekend, in hopes that the weather will be better. That being said, check out the long-term forecast for this weekend:
Had we gone camping this weekend, we would've likely gone from Thursday until Sunday. Thursday is looking to be on the cooler side, but after that it's nothing but hot temperatures and sunshine.

If our 'lucky' streak continues, anyone want to take a wild guess on what the weather forecast might look like for the August long weekend?

Muffin Tin Monday - Breakfast time!

2010-06-28T07:07:00.006-04:00

Another rainy day last week had us trapped inside pretty much all morning. It was one of those days where it was raining so hard, that you'd get soaked just running to the car.

So we stayed in, played with almost every toy we had and finally filled a dress-up box with all the dress-up clothes the kids have.

For lunch, we went the muffin tin route. And to make it a little more fun, I told the kids that they could only pick breakfast foods for their tin. There's nothing like telling a two-year-old and four-year-old that they can only eat breakfast foods for lunch to keep them engaged. They thought the idea was the funniest (and coolest) ever.

So, in our tin we have (top row) raisin bran, yogurt and blackberries (bottom row) peanut butter and jam on toast, honey nut cheerios and strawberries. This was one lunch that was devoured by both of them.

As for the rain, soon after lunch, it stopped and the sun came out, so I decided that a quick trip to the library (which is just down the street) would be a good way to get out before nap/rest time. So off we went. And as we were choosing our books, the clouds returned and opened up. Needless to say, we got a little wet on our walk back.

To see what everyone else's muffin tin meal, click here

My new toy....a crackberry

2010-06-24T20:54:00.005-04:00

When Ryan first got his Blackberry three or four years ago, I hated it. This statement comes as no surprise to him. I hated that it connected him to work all the time, I hated that he checked it all the time. I just hated it.

But I got used to it. And admittedly, over the years, it's come in handy.

That being said, I never wanted one, never felt the need to have one and, quite frankly, never really understood why someone needed one that wasn't work-issued. And I never in a million years dreamed of buying one.

I just bought one for myself.

Me; the same person who a little over a year ago had cellphone so ancient that it wasn't text-compatible, had a bare-bones phone plan because I barely used my phone and when someone did call me, I rarely heard it ring (or it wasn't even charged) which added to the barely used it factor.

But things change; life changes. A year on from that phone, I'm running my own, rather successful (if I do say so myself) part-time, self-employed business. (To be honest, the kids are asleep right now, I should be working and not blogging.) And with this modest success comes the need to be connected while I'm doing my full-time job -- being a mom. Hence the Blackberry.

It's been in my possession for four days now and I think I'm in love. And I've barely even begun to use it yet. So far, I've mostly only used it for work-related purposes -- e-mailing with a client while out with the kids. Although it did come in awfully handy when I wanted to meet a friend at the zoo yesterday and she was running late.

So, I guess you can say I've been converted. I'm already randomly wandering over to it at all times of day just to see if I have any new e-mails. Or heck, just to go online and check the weather. Why? Because I can.

The vegetable garden adventure begins

2010-06-11T06:54:00.009-04:00

The vegetable garden adventure has begun once again, although this year, (I hope) I know what I'm doing.

I planted one afternoon, the week after the May long weekend (that's definitely one of the perks to being a stay-at-home mom) with 'help' from the kids. Our first step was to tame the raspberry bush which had completely taken over the garden.I had no idea when we planted it last spring that in a year's time it would do so well. In fact, at one point in March, as it sat limply in the corner, I was certain that I had killed it.

So, I pulled out the dozens of raspberry bush shoots, making plenty of room to plant tomatoes, cucumbers, zucchini, strawberries and jalapeno peppers. That's right, that's it. I learned from my mistakes last year and did not over plant. I planted four tomato plants -- one being a grape tomato plant -- two cucumber plants (two different types of cucumber, although I did that by accident, picking up the wrong one at the garden centre but not realizing my mistake until I got home), one zucchini plant, one jalapeno pepper plant and one strawberry plant. (I moved the chives in the picture below to another garden in the backyard soon after taking this picture to give the zucchini plenty of room to grow.)We'll see how everything does. So far, so good -- thanks to the nothing-but-sunny-days-and-warm-temperatures of late May followed by a fair bit of rain in the last week. The strawberry plant has produced about four strawberries so far (but, like the raspberry bush last year, it's not supposed to do much in the first year) and one of my tomato plants already has a small green tomato on it.

The plants are all still small but already I'm excited to start cooking. I plan to stock my cupboard with relish and salsa (lots and lots of salsa) later this summer and maybe even bread and butter pickles.

Oh, and that raspberry bush that I thought I may have killed...there are so many raspberries on it (although not quite ripe yet) that I may even have to have jam in my future too.

Muffin Tin Monday - planting our garden

2010-06-07T15:37:00.005-04:00

It's been awhile since I last posted a Muffin Tin Monday. It's not that we don't do Muffin Tin's anymore, quite the opposite. In fact, Alex asks for a muffin tin lunch pretty much every other day, but normally I just throw a bunch of stuff together -- or the kids choose a bunch of stuff to put in the tin.

Here though, is one of our most recent Muffin Tin's with a theme. It was right after we planted our vegetable garden out back and flower garden in the front so we came up with ideas from those activities.We have (top row) bread and butter flowers, raisins subbing in for dirt, grape tomatoes, (bottom row) cheese flowers, strawberries and blackberries (we actually have raspberries in our garden but the kids insisted on eating blackberries at this meal).

In our veggie garden (which I guess, technically is a vegetable and fruit garden) we also have tomatoes, jalapeno peppers, zuchnni, chives and cucumbers. If this year's gardening adventure turns out anything like last year's, it's going to be a yummy summer!

Check out more MTM here.

And at this stage last time...

2010-05-24T07:56:00.002-04:00

I worked out the math the other day (don't ask why, I have no idea why I would think of doing something like this), and today Alex is EXACTLY the same age -- to the day -- that Austin was when she was born.

Which leaves me with just one terrifying thought; OH MY GOD, WHAT THE HELL WERE WE THINKING?

Walking along at a kid's pace

2010-05-17T16:06:00.004-04:00

On the first afternoon I was in California, my sister was exhausted from a bad night with the baby and wanted to take a nap. But like any good seven month old, he knew that mommy was tired and therefore decided that he wasn't.

So, I suggested that I take him out for an hour or so walk around the neighbourhood while she caught a couple of zzzzs.

She protested at first, saying I didn't fly all this way just to walk with the baby. I ignored her protests, sent her off to bed, popped my nephew in his stroller and wandered off. For the next hour and a half, I strolled through the streets, looking around and listening to my ipod. My nephew, for his part, caved rather quickly and fell asleep. Total miles covered -- between 2 and 3.

Let's compare this rather blissful walk (where, may I add, I walked at a nice brisk pace) with a single sleeping baby in a stroller to the walk I took the other day with my kids.

There is major road construction going on down the street from our house. Traffic is being diverted and roads are being ripped up. It's a major headache if you're the driver. But to my kids -- the sudden appearance of construction trucks so close to the house is heavenly.

So, the other day, we wandered out without a stroller or wagon to take a look. Over the next 45 minutes or so, we walked a block and a half in one direction and then turned around and walked back. This pace was not so much because we stood around and looked at the trucks but more because dandelions had to picked, grassy hills had to be rolled down, cracks had to be avoided being stepped on, rocks had to be pocketed and everything around us had to be questioned. Total distance covered -- maybe 400 ft.

Now, don't get me wrong, I remember all too well what the baby days were like and how difficult they can be. Especially when you're exhausted and the baby doesn't want to nap anywhere but the stroller -- therefore after the walk, he's refreshed and ready to go while you're just more tired than you were before. But considering I'm not in that place anymore, in response to my sister's protest two weeks ago, I say: taking a walk with a sleeping baby is a vacation.

25 things I say to my kids every day

2010-05-09T21:55:00.009-04:00

As we were eating breakfast, (the yummy bacon and egg one for Mother's Day) Ryan said to me, 'sorry it isn't a little more peaceful'. (We were desperately trying to ignore the fighting going on in the other room.) My response, 'well this wouldn't be a special day for me if it wasn't for them'.

So, in honour of Mother's Day, one of the blogs I follow recently wrote this, and I thought it was funny enough to write my own version.

1. I love you.
2. No.
3. I don't know.
4. Because. Just because.
5. Didn't you just finish eating?
6. Fine, what do you want for snack?
7. Play nice.
8. Can you sing me a song?
9. Thanks for being my big helper. (with emptying the dishwasher, doing the groceries, etc.)
10. No, we're not having pancakes/meatballs (again) for dinner.
11. You liked it last time I made it.
12. I'm really proud of you. (for whatever was just accomplished)
13. Yes, nap time.
14. Ok let's make a deal.
15. Five more minutes.
16. It's Austin/Alex's turn to use the Mickey/Minnie plate.
17. Share.
18. Can I have a big squishy hug?
19. Let's sit here and have a little snuggle.
20. Daddy's not home, it's (Monday/Tuesday/etc.)
21. I said no.
22. How do you ask?
23. What do you say?
24. Jammy time!
25. Night, night. Love you. Night, night.

And I wonder why some days I go insane from the lack of adult conversation.

Countdown to vacation time

2010-04-24T21:09:00.003-04:00

About 6 months ago, my sister, brother-in-law and baby nephew moved back to California. And I miss them terribly.

They had lived there previously, from 2006 until mid-2008 when they moved to Ottawa (actually, I think it was back to Ottawa -- they do move an awful lot). After 14 or 15 months in Ottawa, they moved back. It's complicated and I don't need to bore anyone with all the details, but suffice to say, they don't live close to me, and I miss them.

When they lived in California the first time around, I never went to visit -- but my sister travelled here a fair bit. My reasons for not visiting were simple. In the time they lived there I had one baby, got pregnant and had another baby. In other words, there was never really a 'good' time to make the trip.

Now, I'm finally going to.

About a month ago, Ryan decided to take the first two weeks of May off work. February and March were hellish for both of us -- first I was working a lot of evenings and weekends and then he was working long days followed by even longer days. Now that the project he's working on is winding down, he figured it would be a good time to take a vacation.

So, we started talking about using some of that time to fly out to California for a visit. But after a few days of talking, Ryan was very honest about the idea. "It's sounds like it would be a lot of fun," he said, " but it would be exhausting."

I couldn't argue with that statement. It would be a lot of fun. And with two young kids, it would definitely not be a relaxing trip. And what him and I need most of all right now is time to relax. So, we decided to stay home. Ryan said, afterall, what he wants to do most of all is to just stay home, relax and spend some time with his kids (now, really, who can argue with that?)

Except, as I pointed out to him, staying home with the kids is what I do every day -- so there's nothing really relaxing or vacation-like about that for me. And that's when he came up with his brilliant idea.

"Why don't you go to California by yourself then?"

And that's exactly what I'm doing. This Thursday afternoon, I'm flying to San Franscisco and I won't return until Tuesday night. Five whole nights without kids. It's the longest I will have ever been away from them.

For the record, I did need some convincing to go through with it. As much as I want to see my sister and nephew (and brother-in-law), the idea of leaving made me feel a little guilty. But now that it's all said and done and the countdown is on, I'm excited. I know I'll miss the kids, but it'll be good for me to be away from them for a few days. And it'll be good for them to be away from me too.

Another birthday cake creation

2010-04-13T07:28:00.006-04:00

Not to be outdone by her brother, for Alex's second birthday this past weekend, I created an Elmo birthday cake.

Because I did a Mickey cake last year for Austin's third birthday, I didn't have the same fear of screwing up. In other words, I knew I could do it. And, since Alex is completely in love with Elmo right now, I knew she'd love it -- no matter how great or poor it looked.

I rented the pan from Bulk Barn again and baked it on Thursday night. Then, around 7:30 Friday night, I got to work making and dying icing. This, in my opinion is the longest and most tedious part. Yes, the actual icing of the cake takes a long time -- but that, in some weird way, is fun. Stirring and adding dye and stirring and adding more dye and stirring and adding yet more dye to get the right colour is long and tedious. I think I used way too much red dye to get the right shade of red -- but what the heck, Elmo is very red after all. And besides, red icing doesn't stain your teeth quite as badly as Mickey Mouse ears black does.

It was about 9 p.m. when I started icing the cake. Oh how times have changed -- because I spent the next two and a half hours of my Friday night hanging out with Elmo. Although, that time did include drinking half a bottle a wine, so it was time well spent.

In the end, I think the cake looked great -- and yet again, I can't believe I pulled off doing something like that.

And Alex loved it. She saw it for the first time just as we were leaving for her party and she went nuts. And for the next few hours, while playing at the party, she would periodically go into the kitchen area, look at the cake and them come to me and say 'eat Elmo cake?'.

Needless to say, when it was time to 'eat Elmo cake' she was one happy girl. And really, that's all that mattered.

Muffin Tin Monday -- Colours of the Rainbow

2010-04-12T14:51:00.006-04:00

Our muffin tin meals have moved to Thursday afternoon snack time, because the kids now have gymnastics on Thursday evenings -- at the very inconvenient time of 6 p.m. An inconvenient time, because we usually eat dinner at 6:30 and the kids are not overly interested in eating any earlier than that. (I tried back in the fall when they had swimming at 6 p.m. and it was a no-go).

So, instead, I feed them a decent sized snack just before 5 p.m. and then they eat another good snack when we get home. And (I hope) the incentive to eat this pre-gymnastics snack is the fact that it's in a muffin tin.

So, here was this week's muffin tin:

Top row is popcorn, cucumber slices and purple grapes with a glass of water. Bottom row is cheese curds, apricots and red pepper. Before making this tin, we talked about what makes a rainbow -- so the popcorn is supposed to be the sun and the glass of water is supposed to be the rain (work with me here).

Check out everyone's else's muffin tin here.

Talk about a productive long weekend

2010-04-06T07:10:00.003-04:00

We decided to stay in town and hibernate this weekend -- making as few commitments as possible in order to finally catch up on sleep, relaxing and things that needed to be done. After a month of Ryan working long hours (to the point that some days he didn't get home in time to see the kids before bed) and me putting in hours on evenings and weekends, we both needed some time off.

What better excuse then to get work done around the house? That's relaxing, right?

Actually, it was. This weekend completed to do list is as follows:

Take kids to the park
Rake front and back lawn
Share rake with the kids who want a turn raking front and back lawn.
Cut down two cedar hedges that did not survive the winter and discover that the kids think it's fun to pick up all the shavings and bag them in lawn bags.
Wash the outside of all windows (the advantage of living in a bungalow is you can reach all windows with the aid of one small ladder).
Get told by oldest kid to wait for him before washing the windows because he wants to help by washing the basement ones.
Realize that in 10 years the kids will likely not want to be so helpful.
Make a Home Depot run and laugh as the kids try to drive the big flatbed cart (we needed wood for a project that didn't get started this weekend).
Clean three years worth of grease off bbq. Kids weren't all that interested in that one.
Have in-laws over for dinner but don't cook anything because they're bringing the meal. Chip in by baking a pumpkin pie and making salad dressing.
Take kids to the park again.

After this three day weekend, we were both pretty tired. But, at least for me, not in that mental exhaustion kind of way of the last few weeks, but instead, in that wow-I-actually-did-all-that-in-three-days kind of exhaustion. It felt good, especially since the weather was so beautiful you wanted to be outside doing things.

Now, (I hate to say this but I need to) we need it to rain for a weekend (or at least one day of the weekend) so we can tackle cleaning out the spare room. There's barely space to walk into to it right now, let alone sleep in it and sunny weekends give us every excuse to continue dealing with it by simply shutting the door.

Two years and counting

2010-04-04T00:00:00.000-04:00

Two years ago -- to the day -- I left my office job for my second maternity leave. And as we all now know, said mat leave never really ended. My EI payments ended, but my time at home with the kids did not.

It was a pretty big shock when I got the news last year that my job was being eliminated. I never dreamed that my job wasn't secure and, although I wanted to stay home with the kids, I never thought that it would be because I didn't have a permanent position to return to.

Cue the passing of yet another year and I can honestly say I'm happy with how things turned out. I'm happy to be home with my kids (except the days they drive me crazy and I want to sell them); I'm happy not going into an office every day; and I'm happy with my part-time career as a freelance writer (especially since it's going well and I'm getting a steady stream of part-time work).

So happy in fact, that it's very tempting to not go back to work at all.

I'm not saying that I want to stay home with the kids forever. But instead, I'm saying that in a few years, when the kids are older and are in school full-time, rather than pounding the payment in search of a full-time job, I'd try to make a go at a self-employed career.

When I decided to stay at home full-time, I said I'd do so at least until Austin went to school (this September) and likely until Alex started school (in two years -- four if our home school doesn't get full-time Kindergarten in time). But in reality, I didn't really think much about what I would do when that time came. I figured I'd find another job. The problem is, I just don’t know what I want to do at another job.

Right now anyway, what I want to do is write. And I don't need to work for someone or somewhere to do that.

Had you asked me 10 years ago that I would be considering a future in self-employment, I would've laughed. Back then, I didn't have the confidence in my work and my abilities to even think I could pull something like this off. But now, it seems like a viable career option. Yes, it's a scary career path, in the sense that you don't always know where (and when) your next pay cheque is coming from. But it's an exciting prospect. And something I think I can actually pull off.

But there's still at least two years until I can move from doing this part-time to pursuing a full-time career at it. Maybe by then, I'll change my mind or talk some sense into myself.

Then again, Ryan supports the idea, so maybe it's not so crazy after all.